Unknowingly, the first week of sch has past:) and what awaits us ahead is...three free days..of free time, rest, more family bonding time,..three days of sunshine:)..Learnt a lot today..as in, learning from lectures, as well as from the daily experiences....the heart is a powerful tool, as we can use it to store wonderful memories, as well as to hide our secrets. the heart is a powerful device, we can use it to feel..:) what is seen is just temporary. what is unseen, yet felt by the heart is for eternity. :) yet what you think that last for eternity, didnt last. Instead, what you have always taken for granted, seems to have crawl into your heart.

heart. <3>
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glad that the econ powerpoint presentation went well..though my voice was kinda shaking. I guess that it's shaking , because im unprepared..but i kinda like econ lesson a bit, though it's kinda of a shooting gallery thingy at times. today, she was saying that many people forgot how to do the calculations question ( and she was looking at me..opps).....hahas..nvm...she is still nice. at least.

michelle peggy peggy pek is nice today:) she is forever sweet and nice. she kinda knows what im thinking, what i like..even without i openly saying it. She bought me the crystal key chain thingy..3 hearts<3..that>

im going a bit cranky and crazy these days. out of my usual self. i just cant help it. crazy dreams.

today's chem test is arghh..i have decided to not sit near anyone when there is a test. I just cant concentrate..kinda constricted..werid me. but i like sitting with claire. crazy gals together.

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hmm talking abt b-day gifts...i know what im gonna give peggy for her bday...im gonna help her wrap someone up..hahas...though that person is not too great or nice..hahas... :)

The Last Day of Holidays

The last day of school holidays...
Mixed Feelings...
Happy that I kinda spent my holidays in a meaningful way, getting touched with my inner most feelings, knowing what i want..it's kinda discovering yourself once again..brand new discovery...as well as spending more time with my family :)
Kinda upset that I did not finish up the work that Im supposed to finish..and the exams are kinda coming up...
Watched many cartoons on fri..kind of a cartoon marathon..hahas..barbie cartoon was silly but meaningful though. watched it with my sis. It taught us that being popular isnt everything. In the story, it showed us how ordinary Barbie tried to be popular, even at the expense of her friends, which was wrong. Nevertheless, the ending was nice. Anyway, come to think of it, I realised that as we grow up, we seemed to lose the core set of values and beliefs that we used to have. Isnt it? What is important is not being popular. It is being yourself. Just Yourself. Sometimes trying too hard to blend it isnt good.
Kinda sad that my dou dou show ( forgot what the show at 7pm is called in english..:) is ending! haiz..oh well...

Oh, yesterday i went to the family day thingy with my mum and sis:) dad was kinda lazy ( the usual him)...the food was super spicy la, and i looked as though i just swallowed fire after eating it!! crazy me..and there was a police roadshow thingy. went there, and they were giving out free emergency for every adult..so i thought that it would be good to have one at home..so i went to take..and the police officer gave me that ' girl, it's only for adults' look..super pissed..anyway he gave me in the end:) and sis won another competition again..it's colouring competition this time..

Today is a rainy rainy day :( but i kinda liked the smell of rain, the feel of the wind..cooool...
Just read karmen's blog..yupp..the 25th October date at 2010:) at the huge ferrais wheel!! :)

My mind is in a complete blank. Complete blank. I just dont what to do.

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Yesterday I had a dream. A werid dream.
I dreamt that our clique went to Integrated Resort at Marina Bay, for some sort of class chalet. It was very fun, because i actually dreamt of the bus journey there. Brandon was saying that paying $1.60 for a ride ( with only four stops) was super expensive, while irwin and karmen were arguing whether the bus was in the right direction ( while the bus journey only got 4 stops, before detouring back to the terminal), then me and claire were just sitting down, next to one another, sleeping..hahas..just too tired to say anything.

Well, later we got off the bus, then headed for the chalet thingy...just like our class chalet..the bungalow we got were slightly bigger...( or is it that we had fewer people..anyway, it's a dream). The scenery there was fantastic...hmm and that's where my dream ended. Short and sweet in a way. Kinda thinking whether we guys would really go to the IR together...a few years later down the road.

hmm kinda liked the analogy on karmen's blog - that friendship is just like bracelets...hmm it can be earrings...necklaces..rings...:) a woman will never complain of having too many earrings. Trust me.
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Love the song of the shoulder thingy by sun. Soothing music, just listening to her music just makes me feel nice....u feel as though you are in a green field, with lots of birds chirrrrrrrpping...the sun shining brightly than ever...soo nice.

I wanna be strong.

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crappy day yesterday though..hahas..was just reading up on my demand and supply at night, and to my horror, i actually see the pages flipping somewhere at the corner of my mind or something...dreamt of something else to..was rather horrified when it seems to resemble a bit of today..freaking day..

hmm nvm...today i sorta just lost control and walked away. Was rather pissed off...felt like running at that time, but my bag was sorta in the way,so i walked.

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It's increasingly frustrating, when the more you tried to clear things up, and somehow you feel as though you made things worse. I think it did, and im angry with myself for making it worse. It's not that i didnt want to make things clear. It is just that i want to minimse the hurt done. It's not just one person's fault. It's both.

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Im just happpy again.

new purpose everyday. new motivation. new me. :)

hahas..just feeling rather randomly. once again, my house felt like a jurond bird park undergoing renovations. With all the birds chirpppppping outside the huge windows, with the smell of fresh grass, the touch of the wind...nice..plus the drilling upstairs.( haiz..it kinda spoils the scenery but it's ok:) happy me.....

yesterday was totally a great day..cg totally starts my day in a nice way..fellowship..kinda like the part of the rough pebbles in the stream, constantly rubbing against each other, and eventually every pebble will be smooth and nice!:) then it was the canning thingy...at first i thgt it was just collecting money for busking..but i guessed it got it all mixed up..hmm so when i reached there, i was like..???..coz i hate asking people for money u know..anyway thanks to Lord, i finally have the courage to ask each and everyone for donations ( and i mean everyone)..it's kinda the never-say-die spirit..refuse to let every opportunity just slip past me..hahas..and from that i learnt something too. Elderly people, young guys, young couples and mothers with kids are generous.:0

hmm it was really great yesterday...coz everytime im discouraged by the overwhelming number of people who just shook their heads, who just walked faster and faster as i approached them, there will always be people after that, who would donate :)..everytime im slightly discouraged, there's kinda a voice challenging me , asking whether im just gonna give up...and of course, i didnt.

:) love love love love. :) love for God, love for family, love for friends...
love is patient, love is kind..:)
My heart feels much lighter now. Much lighter.
Is it because i have learnt to let things go now?

:) hope so.

Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.-- William Shakespeare

hmm these 3 weeks...time really really flies, no matter how hard we tried to hold onto it..hmm..

week 1 was shopping, shopping and still shopping. wanted to get certain things done but as usual, i cant concentrate and ended up wasting more time. :(

week 2 was definitely the great chalet week!!

day 1: it was the moving in day! went to supermarket and bought lots of stuff...then moved in..cant really remember much, except the fact that brandon nagged at us for not washing our feet and he kept on boiling water! went cycling..anyhow cycled and lost control of my bike..then banged straight into many many trees ( now i got many bruises and blue-blacks!! 9 in total!! :( ..) ...cycling was fun..it gives you the fast feeling...it makes you feel the wind...and hear the wind too...

day 2: woke up in the morning, heard that i was talking in my sleep yesterday..cant be helped( i think that it was the games we played before leaving chalet)...then it was being chased by karmen's princess! now i offically declared the first thing im afraid of, besides my mum- im afraid of dogs with fur!!!:( super scared la..because it's rather frightening when the dog started to lick u...arghh..:( ...bbq was fun...bbq under the round round moon and the stars...the tranquil night...anyway, claire was great at cooking the chicken thighs and brandon was great at cooking chicken wings..the duo was certainly great in bbq...and i was just there randomly fanning and of course, eating loh....and we were drinking a bit when bbqing...it's funny to see karmen holding onto a liquor bottle..hahas..then oh..poor irwin got drunk after drinking so much of the 10% liquor thingy..he crazy liao..suddenly drank soo much la...then he's like a kid....just randomly wanting to eat bread..hahas...

day 3: i wanted to see the sunrise..but..it';s raining..got woken up at 6..by karmen ...or is it wei han? haiz cant be bothered la..then go back to sleep again..and that's how i missed my sunrise..haiz.... nvm..

checking out on a rainy day...rather sad..but it was fun, for the past these days ( oh gosh, i dunno how to structure my sentence liao, just bear with me ba) :)

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week 3: recovering from the chalet loh..(`i need 8 hours of sleep la..) kinda sleepy piggy me..hahas..

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Beneath the layers of ice, deep down frozen.
Once, it was alive, but ever since, it was dead once again.
Once again, years after the layers of ice covered it, sealing it, it was alive.
And now that it is alive again, how i wished that i could just frozen it and not let it live.
I just want to seal everything up, and return back to the stage whereby everything was frozen, just like the winter.

haiz..nvm just randomly typing out everything that i feel...it's ok if u guys dun understand it.
You guys never really know. ust lock it up, hl. Just forget about it. Just numb it.

Tired.

Rather tired these days. Tired of every single thing, or rather every single things around one main theme. Perhaps it is the feeling of insecurity that she feels, that made her so uptight and over-protective. But i guess it's for my own good, but it's time that she knows that she has over-stepped the boundaries and it's time for her to respect me and truly know what i want. I do not need all those material possessions on earth- all these shoes, clothes,nice stuff or money...they are worthless in my eyes.They are nothing but just stuff that are physically there, and i can live without those stuff like nice shoes and clothes. All i need is respect and understanding. That's all. And i think that's difficult for her to give now.
Nevertheless, i will wait patiently ( i hope) for that day to come.
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Yesterday's service was great, though it somehow turned into a mini sun concert.. feeling super werid, but still learnt much from it. This week is truly a week full of activities..and i truly learnt a lot this week.

To sum up, lesson learnt:
Unconditional love means putting others before yourself. To experience unconditional love, you got to give it first.