yeah..so happy because today we get to play badminton!!! instead of the usual running of course, as usual, I didn't run. Never mind, today's badminton just rocks..and I realise that me and audrey can work very well together, trashing jade and lizzy..haha..anyway, the badminton made me very tired now..but I'm happy..at least I get to exercise..consider it as preparation for physical fitness test la..

today's lecture is sosoooo boring...but the chem prac is nice la...except for the fact that it's a bit stressful working with ham..as he is forever so well organised and fast..never mind, I will try to catch up with him one..=D

yeah..my bday is coming!!!!! lots of presents!!!!

so slack today..except for badminton.

feeling tired but happy..looking forward to tomorrow..although it sounds a bit scary by other pple....never mind, i think that i will be alive tomorrow, right??

yeah..there's dolphin bay today!!

haiz..boring day today..the pw period is enough to squeeze all my brain juice out of me..and obviously, since I don't have mind, you can't get much brain juice out of it. lots of suaning today...the lectures today are all so boring..the econs..but not the maths. Actually it's boring, but the passion and love for maths simply kept me going. Rather worried about my upcoming chem test, since I haven't studied for it...but..i'm just tired...tired of everything..

short day today...but it felt as though it's one whole full day.

How i wish that I can have 24 X 5 hours each day..for ur info, thats about 120 hours each day..that will be great!!

rather looking forward to this sat...coz It's my birthday celebrations!!!! although i'm excited...that couple organisers kept me so worried....saying that I'm going to remember this 17th birthday forever..so scared...stupid coconut even told me to bring an extra set of clothes..haiz....

never mind, no matter what, I'm still looking forward to that day...

and as times goes, I'm falling deeper and deeper into that hole...how..can someone just tell me...or rather teach me..how to see one's heart?.......

it's actually amazing..to see how strangers, from different places, different backgrounds are actually get together to become friends, and eventually your close friends. IT's just like..you can never imagine who will eventually be your bestest best friends who will actually accompany you through your laughter, your smiles, your frustrations, your worries, your tears and your sorrow.

IT's amazing, as today I suddenly thought of some friends that used to be with us. I know that it has been quite a while since they left..but human beings do have feelings as well.the feeling of longing.

People do change. I think you all get what I mean.

Anyway, that stupid doctor gave me medicine that made me so sleepy and drowsy all day long....haiz..need to sleep and rest more, so that I can get well in time, before saturday, so that I can celebrate for my birthday.

Getting a bit a bit a bit excited about my birthday..as well as a bit nervous over what is going to happen on that day, although irwin tried to give me unconvincing assurance...haha..never mind, anyway his birthday is only about two months after mine..so if anything bad happens, i still can take revenge on time..hehe...

suddenly that feeling is back again.

That sad feeling that drives you towards depression.

I'm unsure of my feelings...suddenly..i know that I like him but..suddenly i ...

never mind.

I will forget everything. I think....

wondering wad's wrong with me these days..always having tat stupid habit of posting my blog entry in part 1 and part 2. haha, never mind.

Back from my doc's trip. The doc is crazy, or there is something seriously wrong with me. I have got another two weeks mc..sounds cool right? but i'm afriad that I will fail my NAPFA test...for running..haiz..what can I do?

At first, I'm rather uncertain on whether my decision on what I want to be in the future ( as a mathetican) is correct or not..but now I think I know what I want..after reassurance from my encouraging mum, for once..as she is forever asking me not to panick so much, relax a bit, watch more tv..and try not to study so hard( when I haven't study)...haiz...life is like that.

Never mind, on my way home from the doc, I saw the sunset. Simply beautiful and magnificent.

In my opinion, I think the most romantic thing that lovers can do is to watch sunset together, hand in hand on the beach...so cool..anyway, I always wanted a outdoor wedding...on the beach...and invite all my guests to see the sunset together with me...

EVeryone may be sad over the ending of another day. BUt to me, sunset actually means news hopes for tomoorrow..that tomorrow will be a better day for those who are sad, those who are frustrated in school or at work....

New hopes for the future....

yeah!! the bio test is finally over, much to my relief. Actually I'm rather sick of tests already. It's like tests occupy my entire world..leaving me with nothing except the fact that I have to study hard for them, hence making me a living walking zombie with no life. But never mind, after so much, I have finally managed to realise the fact that we can't be good at everything..sometimes, we have to relax a bit coz we are human beings after all.

Actually it's my sickness that makes me realise it. Never mind, I hate getting sick.

Getting a bit excited as my bday is approaching..actually the best gift you can give me are all those that are stated in the wishlist...especially the dolphin bay soundtrack. BUt the most precious gift that I actually wanted to receive for bday is not all these...

haiz..today is such a upside down day for me..anyway, maths tution is always there to start the day right!! Finally finished trigo tutorial with some help...but the prob is that I wrote them on a book..never mind, I will transfer them later...haha..i love maths..despite it's tough!!

After that, went to grandma's house...then went home to mug..but in the end, spent the entire afternoon smsing..pestering people..reading notes..the enzymes notes took me 4 hours to read onl.as well as to memorize..perhaps I'm a slow reader after all...haiz...

Anyway, the stress is killing me down..suffocating me..how I wish that I can migrate immediately and not come back to Singapore anymore...so that I don't have to suffer at the hands of the rigid education system..simply just killing all my brain cells..maybe we should just have project work all day long..and nothing else.

Anyway, I'm just waiting for the bio test to start and end soon...The stress is killing me...i wanna go poly now!!!!

But if I go poly, can I be a mathetican?? haiz..another prob..better stick with jc.

Tomorrow got chapel..wonder if it will cheer me up further...and relieve all my stress...haiz...

Never mind, shall not bother so much. Time to mug hard enough for my bio test!!!

yeah!! feeeling sooo happy today, despite of the fact that i'm rotting away at home..feeling so bored, a bit stressed...as well as a bit of mild sadness due to the fact that it seems impossible to heal my com. from that virus..

Anyway, karmen gave me my bdae prezzie yesterday...although it's a bit early..two weeks early..haha..anyway, I simply love those glow in the dark stars that she gave me. They look so magnificent at the night, on the ceiling of my bedroom..I simply love the feeling of star gazing when I'm lying on the bed..so nice...anyway, with these stars looked so real..and it seems as though..they are within my reach...suddenly wanna go on a star-catching trip..perhaps to the moon, so that I can see stars flying everywhere..so cool..and romantic..

Yeah...yesterday got dolphin bay..managed to see half hour of it..coz my dad wanted to see the final epsiode of the show on channel 8..no choice just have to compromise..in life, you can't always have the cake and eat it, you know? anyway, that guy in the show is so cute although i find him irritating at times too..the show is so nice..although the plot seems too prefect a bit...haha...no matter what, i just love that show.

Besides the stars, karmen gave me necklace too...but it's not the four leave clover one...it's so hard to get the four leave clover one....I just can't find it in the shops that I have been to.Never mind, if I'm fated to get one, I will find it no matter how long it takes. Call me determined..or call me stubborn.

oh ya...for the last time, I LOVE DOLPHIN BAY!!! It's so nice....especially the female lead and that cute guy....

haiz...suddenly feel the urge to go to the class outing....but i need to go to the doc. i think, coz I'm still feelin a bit sick..especially the nose..it's like dropping off any moment...either go to the doc..or stay at home...i chose staying at home. i think that i'm gooing to get a cough soon..haiz...a poor sick me.

never mind, happy feelings will keep me high!!! desppite of the sicknessss....

Yesterday's rating of the day..with all the star catching..and pasting: GREAT!! x 10000 20/10

Today's rating : It's only the first half of the day..how will I know..anyway about 15/10 ^-^

well...the later part of today is a bit disappointing for me..as i'm actually planning to finish my revision for bio test..but in the end, i only managed to read about a few pages..about 10? and the worst thing is I have got maths tution in the morning tomorrow..and I haven't got any questions to bombard my tutor with..it's gonna be a waste of money again..nvm I will try to attempt some trigo questions on my own first..(if I can solve them)..

To me, maths is not a subject..it's love to me. Sounds so...mushy, right?Anyway, although I may hate maths at different times of my life, I never stop loving it. Anyway i think i should stop talking about maths..in case you guys say that I'm crazy..

Great day today..except for the fact that I'm down with flu and now cough as well...my asthma is coming...never mind, it will not really affect my feelings to a great extent.

A bit sad today as well..after realizing that today is saturday..and there's`no dolphin bay. But never mind, good things are worth waiting for.

My birthday is coming soon!!!! Getting a bit excited....I want a blueberry cake!!!

feel very very very sick this morning..with a high fever and a heavy head enough to make your whole world spin and round, so I decided not to come to school today. Anyway, I still regret not coming to school..as IT"S REALLY VERY SIAN AT HOME!!! the boredom is enough to kill me, and not the flu virus.

This is my schedule of the day:
Wake up, eat, listen to dolphin bay soundtrack (my sis one), sms and pester others in school, sleep, eat and sleep..and eat...and now waiting for my dolphin bay drama to come...yeah, there is dolphin bay today!!! YEah!! I simply love the drama and soundtrack so much!!! How I wish that I can have the doplhin bay soundtrack so that I don't have to borrow from my sis on a daily basic which is driving her nuts.

I know what you all are going to say next. But indeed, I don't getting sick of listening these few songs to and fro..because I love them!! When you love something, you don't mind listening to them again and again.

Anyway, this logic is the same for other things. It's like..I love love love blueberry cake the most, so I don't mind eating them again and again..not even those that are most creamy one although I will suffer from the consequences..but for it, i don't mind. =)

Anyway anyway anyway, I love these songs because they clearly speak of my feelings at different times....Simply love it..simply have the feeling of being loved when listening to the cd.

Although I'm sick now, with a flu and fever, but just by listening to these songs,they seem to take away all my illness and pain away...

But despite of my illness which I thought would lessen some of my thoughts of him, I still think of him today although i tried hard not to. Perhaps it's a crush that will only last for a few months, perhaps it's the beginning of a love that will last for forever. But so what? We can't predict what will happen next....all I want to do now is to just continue liking him....

Perhaps I'm a bit stubborn. But that's me.

Perhaps I'm immature....but people do grow from experience.^-^

feel a bit much better compared to the oother days..although i'm a bit sick, down with mild flu and a terrible sore throat..actually yesterday I have already made up my mind to go to ren ci one..but this morning, I have a terrible sore throat...that made it impossible to go..coz I always have a fever after getting a sore throat..strange but true..From this experience, I learnt that sometimes things just don't happen in the way you wanted and expected them to be..sometimes we just don't have control...and I think that's part of life as well.

Actually In the past, I used to think how nice life can be..if I'm a very clever and smart girl who knows everything and is a all rounder...( not size lah)....don't need to study also can get good grades...with a smooth sailing life....

I used to think that that will be great...

Isn't it?

HOwever now, i think differently. Won't life be boring if it's too smooth sailing....like everything is within your reach...life will not be challenging..and interesting..and colourful...

Anyway, today I seem to have sorted out my thinking a bit..and sort of cheered up although loooking a bit dazed at times...

Although we always wish for a smooth sailing life, life will be more interesting with some ups and downs..because we all mature and learn from experience.

It's just like..if you bake a cake with lime..and it tastes horrible..you will learn from the experience and not bake that horrible combination again.

This is learning from experience. And through experiences, we mature intellectually and emotionally...able to think more rationally...

Anyway, gtg see doctor. Today is a great day for me..as I'm no longer that depressed after all...kinda settled down.

Today's rating of the day: 8/10 =P

haiz....at least today I feel much better than yesterday..no longer that that that depressed over stuffs...and things..and more. Felt more relaxed and relieved after the chem test. Actually...i'm wondering why we are studying so hard, studying our guts out...just to get good grades..so what if we get good grades..does it mean that we are clever than the rest..does it mean that we are happy....no linkage..in my opinion..

numb...just wanna be numb...

Today's rating of the day : 5/10

haha..i'm trying to see if I will recover from the sad mode hours after I have posted my first blog entry..but in the end, I'm still not happy..in fact I seem to have slipped into a worst state of depression...perhaps...that's life.

And as for me, it seems to be full of more downs than ups.

I'm one that has no life at all.

Depressed is the only word to describe me.

Is it better for one to be suffering silently?

I dunno...why I'm sad over this matter as in the past, I used to see it as a small matter and would not even bother about it. But now..

i thought ttat today's chapel is going to be another boring and tiring period of the day for me..with all the talking and stuff...but today, it turned out to be a meaningful one for me. I suprisingly managed to sit through it and absorb most of the stuff. THe songs today were nice and lively...except for one which is sad, and somehow nearly affected my entire mood for the day.

kept knocking into things today....wall, doors and even the pillars at the busstop on my way home...everyone laughed at me and I simply just brushed away all these with the excuse that I was clumsy...but actually am I? I'm not. I'm just distracted, depressed.

You may say that I looked happy today..but actually am i? felt so pretentious today...constantly trying to find things that can cheer me up...like gossisps..jokes...teases...but actually by laughing at them, will I be happier?

What you have seen today is the fake and pretentious me. Someone who constantly tries hard enough to keep herself happy....but actually she felt empty and lonely inside.

It's pretty easy to say that time will heal everything..but the problem is how long? 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week, 1 fortnight, 1 year?? or more??

just as what abraham says...you may look happy..but you may not necessary be happy. THis is the logic and reasoning here.

I;m trying hard to forget it...but can i?
I wanna be strong and endure all these, taking all these in my stride...but can i?

Why must I be strong and try to forget?
I dunno....

should I fight for it? should i just try...and not give up easily?

But you dun have to touch a fire before knowing that it's hot.

i dunno...i'm really really very tired.....i just wanna to be the me that i'm before I stepped into acjc...

but i know that...things can never be the same as before....

can they?

can someone just tell me?

the past few days had been very stressful to me....i'm currently undergoing so much stress that I can even feel myself breaking down gradually...everything came so suddenly- the breaking down of my com due to the spyware virus is enough to frustrate me to that extent that I can just tear all my done homework into pieces....as well as the acknowledgement of feelings...the comfirmation of it...although I know that i shouldn't step into it, knowing that it's a hole, i still stepped and jumped into that black hole willingly. Is this what people call stupidness?

Everything seem to have changed. THe sun is not shining brightly as before, the sky is no longer as blue as before, in fact it seems to grow threatening with dark clouds....my usual joyful cheerful and happy nature seems to have changed too....i suddenly realised that I can't smile and laugh as happily as before...

I just want to tell someone. BUt I found out that I can't. I thought that I have no friends...but yesterday I realised that I have friends that I can confide. As for those who I confide in, thanks for being a listening ear, although you all can't help me with my problem...

Everything seems to change. From brightness to darkness....from the usual calm sky to one with storms...

I want to cry suddenly...because I think that it is the best way to relieving stress.

But suddenly...I realised that my heart has stopped beating..and I have no more tears left.

Yesterday's rating of the day : -100/10
This morning's rating of the day : 1/10( despite having maths tution)
Time will take away all pains but it will always leave a scar.

actually today I just dun wanna go to school...because I'm really very very very tired these few days..feeling as though all my life is drained out of me...feeling very tired at all times if you notice me...staring at space, looked dazed....losing my concentration....tried to sleep early yesterday but guess that it didn't really help a lot...


However i still go to school....because there's maths!! Many people may think that I'm crazy over maths..that I do about hundreds of questions a day...I do..but it's only when tests and examinations are coming...because I believe that the more you do, the more you think, the faster you think and the faster you work...and that increases your ability to solve more difficult questions...is that wrong??

Anyway, i don't care what others think....Anyway, I still love maths...I control it and not let it control me...

slack today..and got back my maths test...saw my marks..and felt numb..u may be thinking that I'm crazy...but i just felt numb and felt sick of all these tests and competition stuff...

Tired day today...6/10

yeah..i finally managed how to read my blog entries already..to read the past few entries, click on anywhere here where my blog entry is and then use ur pg up and pg dn buttons...

well, today is a very happy day for me..as well as a stressful one as I suddenly realised that I dunno a lot of things...never mind, I will try hard to sort them out...

Anyway, happy day for me today..bascially start it right by suaning karmen in the morning..calling her cow-men..haha..although i know that it's mean of me...I just can't help it..coz it's my way of communicating with people...anyway, suaning each other, arguing, laughing at one another, creating rumours and scandals..and listening to them seem to be part of our attempt to bond the class together...at least for the old 1sd2..

actually wanted to go out this sat..but dun tink tat i can anymore..coz chem test is comin;...happy day today..I shall give it 20/10!!!

Actually I wanted to change my blog skin..however I will not change it for the time being..because I like the words in the backgd.escp these: As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there's one thing that never change, I will always fall in love with you...I like these words...as well as the blog's new music..so sad yet so beautiful..

THis song simply remind us that we should let go of our past and move on...And now, I think that I'm recovering slowly..

yeah..today is once again a happy day for me..coz I have maths tution today..and my tutor gave me lots of difficult and challenging questions...i think that I'm a bit crazy now, after cracking my head hard enough for answers...managed to relax a bit...but also did somework..like learning a bit for econs..doing my maths stuffs...reading a bit of newsweek...watching some tv..trying to fix my blog but can't....( can someone just help me, please?) Anyway, I still managed to talk over the phone with lizzy...trying to stop my hair from curling up too much...

Great day today!! I give it 10/10!! ( Except for the blog layout..)

haiz..today is supposed to be a very fruitful day for me...when I'm supposed to practise all my maths questions and then read up on econs..but i guess tat i did none of them...coz I'm constantly being stressed out for no reason like a nutcase....felt no motivation further...anyway, i managed to talk to cheryl yesterday...yeah!!finally not at the wrong timing..like calling when she's not in, sleeping or having piano lessons...( coz she called me)

anyway...i loved my blog music more and more....i simply loved it...maybe i should just relax for a while..taking time to take a step back to see what mess I'm in...before trying to solve it...

tried to update my blog two times yesterday...but my com got something wrong...

anyway, yesterday is a very tiring day for me...as well as a depressing one..although i told myself hard enough not to think about the past and move on, i can't. it's just like once someone enters your heart, you feel it hard to forget that person...I just can't help staring at the empty spaces around me, where all our old classmates used to sat...These empty spaces are just like the emptiness within me....

anyway, now going to school....absorbing nothing seems to be part of a cycle for me....and it feels terrible..i must do something about it before it's too late...how i wish that we human beings never have feelings so that nothing else can bother us..except the part on where to repair ourselves...getting fuel for ourselves...and tips on how to look shiny after a few scrubs..

If all these things happening are part of a nightmare, wake me up.
If this is reality, help me overcome this obstacle.

It's pretty ironical...coz I always tell people to cheer up and stay hppy and happy, but i can't....but i will stand on my feet again..soon..

today is a tired day...as we ran 2.4 km today..and today I like got shock lah, aas I managed to run at a much faster pace than before...although the run is six rounds, it seems like eternity to me....

Never mind, I felt much better after it...and today I realised that our class bonding is much better than before...perhaps it's true that it takes quite some time for people to get to know each other, to know their pet phrases, and personalities...

so tired....stay happy everyone, k? =P

Let all the happy moments stay for eternity, still fresh in our minds, as though they all just happened yesterday,
and let go of all those unhappy and sad moments..........

today is the most meaningful day for me ever...coz today we ( me, irwin, karmen, jeanette and menghui) went to ren ci to help...at first, we were tired after the school and our legs felt wobby due to the long walk there...when we saw the old folks...we got mixed feelings and expressions...some of us knew that they were speaking but in a different foreign language....however, we even managed to communicate with them using the simplest language on earth - a smile. In the past, I never kneww that a smile is the offical universal language but today i realised how valauble it is.

When i first got there, i was rather tired...but after a while, i began to realise the true happiness of helping other people...it's fun and happy....to see the old folks painting and gluing away...occasionally quarelling with each other over small things...but it's also sad...as today someone in the old folks home left the world for the paradise...it's sad to realise the fact that eventually all of us have to die..it's just the matter of whether it's early or late....besides this, i have also seen the helpness of the old folks....felt so sad for them...wanted to help them more...but just don't have enough time..

after that, we went to eat..my fav chicken rice...before shopping for a calculator..and almost getting lost...

However, despite of the tiredness,the fact that my new shirt got dirty due to the paints, i'm still happy coz this trip allows me to look at life more meaningfully and a a different aspect...this trip also tells me that certain things we just can't control...like life and death...as well as the arrangement of classes...everything is destined....it's destiny that brought the people in 1sd2 together....

Despite of everything, i'm grateful for what i have.

today is a happy and fine day for me...until i read my past blog entries....listening to my blog's music..never knew that it was so sad...until today..and it's my favourite song despite of the sadness. And the worst thing is by listening to this music, I felt worst than before...it's just like your wound is healing day by day, only to be ripped open by someone else...i still need my time to heal...may someone just give me the ability to recover...

The moment i hear this song...i just can't help remembering those good moments that we used to share with one another....from that very first day that we didn't even who is who...sitting quietly at a corner of the classroom....to a class that calls one another funny humourous nicknames like mummy the sumo wrestler, coconut head prince, orange julius...

From all those unknown, unfamiliar faces at the very first day of the school, to those faces that you will remember for life, at the very mention of these names....

From strangers, we walked together with one another, building strong friendship bonds as we walked along....from strangers, to a united class that beats as one...from strangers to best friends that you can talk for hours.....

From unfamiliar people with totally no background knowledge of one another, to a class that knows everyone's personalities and characteristics...

From a quiet class, we grew noisely and a bit nosey....

But now, those laughter...the happiness...those tears....those sad faces that will eventually be smiling as encouraging friends will cheer them up....those funny jokes, rumours, scandals and juicy gossisp....the class spirit seems to be fading...

From a noisy class, we seem to have gone quietier. Everyone eating their lunches quietly with sad expressions on their faces...alll you can see in their eyes are no longer great happiness...instead it's sadness.

Perhaps it's the music that is making me emotional..But just let me be emotional for the last time...

I know that for certain things, we can't control it. We can only accept them. But it's hard to let go....

this morning, before I stepped into the hall, i said to myself tat I would stay happy no matter what. I just wanna recover from all this mild depression of losing classmates over the announcement of the posting of schools. I thought tat i could do it. But I was wrong. Perhaps that's why we are human...we take time to forget stuff...and stop crying over something that is a fact already.

I thought that I can try to make new friends...however I found out that I have already lost that ability. Instead I just wanna be with the old classmates of 1sd2...and be a loner to the newcomer..just don't want to talk....

Smiles in our class are no longer bright and radiant
The laughter of our class during recess and lunches seem to fade away with time
Instead, silence grew between us.

Perhaps I need more time to recover...perhaps...

anyway, the new comers are nice people lah...but I just can't click with them today...and I dun quite like that taut guy..weihan..he looks like one who is asking for a beating..so anti-social..but perhaps he's also like us, getting sad due to the parting of other people.

yeah..today is not such a boring day after all...coz i have got maths tution ( my fav) in the morning to start the day right and a good shopping trip at suntec to finish the day off....the shopping trip today is much better than yesterday..as I didn't managed to buy any of my fav things yesterday compared to today...bought a new bag...that type that I think cheryl would like too...I miss her a lot..so today decided to call her..but bad timing, she is having piano lessons and she sounded werid over the phone ( perhaps due to that cough)..hope that she's alright..never mind I will try to call her again.

Besides the bag, I also bought this nice poster..with very very beautiful scenery...of a rainbow over a cliff..I luv the words on it..they are:

------
Title: God's rainbow

Rainbows appear after mighty storms
when things look their very worst.
Just when the skes are darkest grey,
look for the rainbow first.

The rainbow is a sign of God's promise,
That he will guide us through any storms.
That He will see us through all our troubles,
No matter what their form.

When you feel battered by life's storms,
And you are filled with doubt and dismay;
Just remember God's rainbow is coming -
It's only a prayer away.

------

After reading these words, I indeed felt much better...about the past..no longer than depressed...instead I'm now much hopeful about the future...

We should not be depressed over what had happened..or try to predict what is going to happen, because God has plans for everyone...bad ones to put you through the mill...and good ones to cheer you up..( hey..i think that I'm slightly affected....maybe not long..i will not be a free thinker anymore..)

By the way, how come everyone now is talking abt that mysterious guy......i bet it's coconut head and mummy...so bad of them...dun friend them anymore...

There's always sunshine and rainbow after the rain. ^-^

yeah, today i went shopping with irwin and aman...in orchard..not really shopping..coz by the time we got there, we only went to long john silver to eat...then...we went to lido...where aman went with her friends to watch movie...at first, me and irwin wanted to watch eye 10 ( well, actually i'm the one who wanted to watch and managed to drag him along)...but in the end, the afternoon movie started and ended too late..so we decided to go shopping with his friend...didn't really shop...feeling bored..just strolling along in the shopping mall..in hereen and taka....very bored...banged into a fence, the escalator....and more..so tired and felt silly..as stupid irwin was like taking my phone for a neoprint machine again...and we are in macs lah...so werid..

anyway, today is still a happy day for me..although I'm still in the process of recovering from mild depression..lets hope that our new class will be better...

I'm sure that i will overcome this emotional and psychological obstacle....and be stronger. I will.

Anyway, as I always say, after the rain, there's always a beautiful rainbow waiting for us.

Good things never last forever...but bad things also don't last forever...

Getting a bit happier...

today is a tiring, irritating and frustrating day. I never know or even think that today will be such a day. Today, I just don't feel like talking in the presence of someone...i just wanna to be alone....this week,many stuff have been bothering me and they are like going to wear me out..or to make thing worst, make me feel horrible....depressed and frustrated...I know that life is full of ups and downs.. and in order to be strong, we have to go thru trials. I know that this week is full of trials from god...but they are too much for me to bear...I'm afriad that I don't have the energy to continue....

However, I pray that someone will just give me the strength....in one form or another. May I be able to survive these trials and be strong.

Anyway, today we got to know our classes. Sadly, we lose some people like eric, deric and john tang. I know that i should move on and go and try to accept other classmates....But i'm worried..will they be as nice as our previous classmates.

Certain things I don't wish to hear or know.
All I know is that we will never be the same again.

hihi...i admit that the talk of committing sucide is part of a plan to scare karmen..however I never deny that I didn't thought of them yesterday as I'm suffering from slight depression yesterday.

Felt terrible today, as I suddenly realised that indeed our class is slowly dwindling from the original 26 slowly to 25...then now although there's like 16 to 17 of us, only about 8 -9 people gathering together now...the class spirit seem to be like a dying flame...hinting its end. Perhaps it will be stronger when the second intake comes in, but my feeling tells me that things are never going to be the same anymore....our class will soon get separated into various 'gangs' and groups....

today is julius b-dae...so fun as we tried to hide the cake from him...seeing and eating that chocolate cake..although it's nice...i don't really like it coz I'm lactose intolerant...so hint hint..I want a fruitcake for my b-dae...but i guess that you all will not bother to celebrate my b-dae...it's should near the exams...sighs...

tried to cheer up today..but there's too many things happening today....u guys knew it....

today, I also realised something else. We, human beings are often influenced by what other people say....but we never really consider the fact that what others said might not be the truth...even if we consider that, we will still be affected and our impression of that person will change along with the teller's opinion of that person. However, today I realised the truth.