sick today :(
never felt so terrible before.:( fever, cough, sore throat,flu..all at one go. feeling like an incubator for germs, drifting in and out of dreams...wondering whether what i saw were actually images from myy dreams, or just images formed in my mind..hmm anyway im like a piggy..actually sleeping for 5 straight hours..time flies..
oh i saw a comic strip today...it was talking about a girl complaining on how fast time flies in tests and examinations ..whether it shouldnt be, coz time only flies when you are doing things that you like..super dumb la.
study.study.study. however my heart is not there. it's lost.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
hmm dunno why but starting to feel more and more strained...the strain of life..:( everything is werid yesterday..it's like i was just on my way home, then a guy suddenly approached me..crazy la..and we ended up talking to one another, all the way until i reached my block..werid...
currently reading the purpose driven life book, trying hard to understand what the book is trying to say ( coz im not really myself, nor thinking these days)..Im just werid, going out of control and crazy real soon. Everything just simply werid and screwed.
Never mind, i had been thinking a lot and a lot and a lot....
Truly, God is great. The greatest evidence of his greatness is actually us. He created us in order to love us- and i mean everyone. Just think whether you can love everyone on the streets, whether you known them or not... He loves us no matter what, whether it is our skin colour, our personalities, our nationality...there is no discrimination.
hmm just did my gp essay, on how Man looks to Science for empowerment, and ended up rediscovering his fragility.Super fun, just typing the essay, doing it all over again, seeing the question in a much different light...
Now, we need God more than ever. Is it? ( sounds a bit gp..but...:0)
currently reading the purpose driven life book, trying hard to understand what the book is trying to say ( coz im not really myself, nor thinking these days)..Im just werid, going out of control and crazy real soon. Everything just simply werid and screwed.
Never mind, i had been thinking a lot and a lot and a lot....
Truly, God is great. The greatest evidence of his greatness is actually us. He created us in order to love us- and i mean everyone. Just think whether you can love everyone on the streets, whether you known them or not... He loves us no matter what, whether it is our skin colour, our personalities, our nationality...there is no discrimination.
hmm just did my gp essay, on how Man looks to Science for empowerment, and ended up rediscovering his fragility.Super fun, just typing the essay, doing it all over again, seeing the question in a much different light...
Now, we need God more than ever. Is it? ( sounds a bit gp..but...:0)
Monday, May 15, 2006
hmm back again today..it's that feeling again, that werid feeling that wont go away. haiz, that depressed feeling, oh well. I must try to overcome it instead of letting it overcome me!!
the current situation that now im in, can be compared to one who is thrown into a dark tunnel, without anything. No torch-lights, no handphones, no hammer..totally nothing. So in the tunnel, you just cant see anything, so the only way out - is to feel your way through. And of course, that gives me great sense of insecurity. And i hate it. I hate to be insecure. So what can i do? I told myself that through faith, everything will be overcomed. But the problem is that sometimes what we say, is not what we do. It's hard to practise what we preach, it's just hard to keep the faith going at times of great great difficulties.
soo many things to do..both physically and mentally..sometimes the mental things were much more draining than the physically ones.
i just dunno. i just dunno. i really dunno. im just helpless.
-----
it's just the same old routine of doing happy things to keep yourself happy. But does it fills the void within you?
haiz...
it's that emptiness within that is overwhelming, not life at times.
I wanna see with my eyes, i wanna hear with my ears, i wanna feel with my heart...
I wanna see and being perceiving, i wanna hear and understand.....
the current situation that now im in, can be compared to one who is thrown into a dark tunnel, without anything. No torch-lights, no handphones, no hammer..totally nothing. So in the tunnel, you just cant see anything, so the only way out - is to feel your way through. And of course, that gives me great sense of insecurity. And i hate it. I hate to be insecure. So what can i do? I told myself that through faith, everything will be overcomed. But the problem is that sometimes what we say, is not what we do. It's hard to practise what we preach, it's just hard to keep the faith going at times of great great difficulties.
soo many things to do..both physically and mentally..sometimes the mental things were much more draining than the physically ones.
i just dunno. i just dunno. i really dunno. im just helpless.
-----
it's just the same old routine of doing happy things to keep yourself happy. But does it fills the void within you?
haiz...
it's that emptiness within that is overwhelming, not life at times.
I wanna see with my eyes, i wanna hear with my ears, i wanna feel with my heart...
I wanna see and being perceiving, i wanna hear and understand.....
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Aches
hmm strange day..kinda started it in a very werid manner. it's my sis's chinese tutor...the last time it was her saying 'happy new year' when i just woke up...and like what you guys had guessed, it's her again that started my werid day..i woke up this morning hearing her talking about squeezing the toothpaste in chinese..super weird and funny..
kinda riding an emotional roller coaster these days..(in fact i think i had been doing that since this year, n im really tired, and i just wanted all these negative feelings to disappear, or at least fade)..but luckily i still got some other channels to speak my troubles too..like God ( the ever ready friend out there or rather here, together with me)..my friends..as well as my family( mummy and sis are just one great bunch of pple to laugh at, talk to..:)
Hoping that everything will be over soon. :) oh ya, i was so pissed off today, when the stupid hospital sent me a letter ( or rather my mum)...telling us that my appointment on 17may got shifted to 26may!! i wanna protest liao. my back is really really hurting like mad..MAD...and sometimes though pple doubt me, or rather question my integrity, it just pissed me off. ( if u doubt, then i really dunno what to say. I shall not swear, for a Yes will always be a Yes, and a No..the truth will stay always.
oh ya, back to today. Today is a werid but happy day!! kinda feeling sick for the past few days..back pain, headaches, and emotional stuff. but today went out to eat for dinner ( remember that it's mothers' day tomorrow?) yupps, so today we went out to eat!! hahas..super funny la..
coz it's raining at first and we were kinda worried that we couldnt get a cab..( cab today, because daddy is not in town these few days) ..yupps, finally got a cab and went there. super funny, coz we were acting like mad women...eating crab= most unglam thing that happened today!!
first, my sis spilled chilli sauce ( the crab one) on her self..and in her desperate attempt to clean it off, she spilled more on herself instead. *laugh*
second, i laughed at her, while im trying hard to squeeze the meat out of the crab's legs. then i spilled the chilli sauce on myself.
third, we went to wash our hands, and once again, my sis tried to wash the stain on her pants off...but she washed the wrong spot instead. ( so her whole pants were practically wet and soaked with chilli sauce)..
so she became the laughing stock of the day.:) then we went to see the cool water sports thingy in east coast, near the seafood centre...super funny la:) seeing people trying to balance like toodlers trying to walk and stand ( but this time it's on water) :) hahas..
kinda learn something from today..the love for your mother need not just be expressed on mothers' day:)
---
hmm how? im kinda losing my stand slowly. it's not that im just playing ard, but i just dun wan to hurt. that's all. I know how it feels when one's hurts. It's that terrible feeling that I wish that I never ever wanted to inflict on anyone, but do i have to, this time? hmm kinda caught in a dillemma...:(
----
Life is just full of aches ( pun intended).
kinda riding an emotional roller coaster these days..(in fact i think i had been doing that since this year, n im really tired, and i just wanted all these negative feelings to disappear, or at least fade)..but luckily i still got some other channels to speak my troubles too..like God ( the ever ready friend out there or rather here, together with me)..my friends..as well as my family( mummy and sis are just one great bunch of pple to laugh at, talk to..:)
Hoping that everything will be over soon. :) oh ya, i was so pissed off today, when the stupid hospital sent me a letter ( or rather my mum)...telling us that my appointment on 17may got shifted to 26may!! i wanna protest liao. my back is really really hurting like mad..MAD...and sometimes though pple doubt me, or rather question my integrity, it just pissed me off. ( if u doubt, then i really dunno what to say. I shall not swear, for a Yes will always be a Yes, and a No..the truth will stay always.
oh ya, back to today. Today is a werid but happy day!! kinda feeling sick for the past few days..back pain, headaches, and emotional stuff. but today went out to eat for dinner ( remember that it's mothers' day tomorrow?) yupps, so today we went out to eat!! hahas..super funny la..
coz it's raining at first and we were kinda worried that we couldnt get a cab..( cab today, because daddy is not in town these few days) ..yupps, finally got a cab and went there. super funny, coz we were acting like mad women...eating crab= most unglam thing that happened today!!
first, my sis spilled chilli sauce ( the crab one) on her self..and in her desperate attempt to clean it off, she spilled more on herself instead. *laugh*
second, i laughed at her, while im trying hard to squeeze the meat out of the crab's legs. then i spilled the chilli sauce on myself.
third, we went to wash our hands, and once again, my sis tried to wash the stain on her pants off...but she washed the wrong spot instead. ( so her whole pants were practically wet and soaked with chilli sauce)..
so she became the laughing stock of the day.:) then we went to see the cool water sports thingy in east coast, near the seafood centre...super funny la:) seeing people trying to balance like toodlers trying to walk and stand ( but this time it's on water) :) hahas..
kinda learn something from today..the love for your mother need not just be expressed on mothers' day:)
---
hmm how? im kinda losing my stand slowly. it's not that im just playing ard, but i just dun wan to hurt. that's all. I know how it feels when one's hurts. It's that terrible feeling that I wish that I never ever wanted to inflict on anyone, but do i have to, this time? hmm kinda caught in a dillemma...:(
----
Life is just full of aches ( pun intended).
Friday, May 12, 2006
Just let the strong overpowering detest for life in school disappear..just ignite the passion within, and let the flame burn brightly, so brightly that it has never been before.
Just let me be able to see all those negative things about life in less importance..just let all those negative thoughts, all those perceptions about certain people, all those sensitive feelings, all those lousy feelings, all those thinking.....just let them fade in less importance. Just let me soar my wings and fly, for i feel that im caged.
Just let me run for you and you alone. Just let me worship you forever.
---
The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end
The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb
Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Just let me be able to see all those negative things about life in less importance..just let all those negative thoughts, all those perceptions about certain people, all those sensitive feelings, all those lousy feelings, all those thinking.....just let them fade in less importance. Just let me soar my wings and fly, for i feel that im caged.
Just let me run for you and you alone. Just let me worship you forever.
---
The splendor of a King, clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end
The Godhead Three in One
Father Spirit Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb
Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, and all will see
How great, how great is our God
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
hmm hahas..super happy now..perhaps it's the daniel powter -"bad day" song...hmm...happy me :)
hahas..today is a great great day ba!! 2 more days to my bday!! getting a bit excited..hahas..maths was totally great today!!( i simply love maths!) and the rest of the lectures were managable...then chem was kinda horrifying la..( but today he didnt shoot anyone of us, so it's ok.:) ...then it's boring gp, then exciting pe. Pretty funny during gp...went over to the tennis court and from there, we can see lots of stuff, like temptation island, tempo island, and permanent island...hahas...laughing a lot at crazy stuff la..what balls, cleavage thingy, looks, personality and responsibility..hahas..
rushed a bit to catch my bus..:) and i managed to catch it k..but you know, he's not there la. :( ..nvm..:)
im a blissful happy bday gal to be. :) hmm kinda piggy...i wanna eat a lot...jumbo, swensens..hmm recently, im kinda obsessed with the neoprint machine for werid reasons..:) hahas...my bday is coming!! ( feeling kinda retarded...to only feel that my bday is coming when it's kinda 2 days away...but what makes bday nice is the anticipation of gifts and food to come, isnt it??)
hahas...random me now...i simply think that tall guys are cute. :) *( look at my one o'clock and you know why)..
many things happened over last weekend...from crashing of com...to...many things la. But one thing will never change. Im still as stubborn as before. That's me.
hahas..today is a great great day ba!! 2 more days to my bday!! getting a bit excited..hahas..maths was totally great today!!( i simply love maths!) and the rest of the lectures were managable...then chem was kinda horrifying la..( but today he didnt shoot anyone of us, so it's ok.:) ...then it's boring gp, then exciting pe. Pretty funny during gp...went over to the tennis court and from there, we can see lots of stuff, like temptation island, tempo island, and permanent island...hahas...laughing a lot at crazy stuff la..what balls, cleavage thingy, looks, personality and responsibility..hahas..
rushed a bit to catch my bus..:) and i managed to catch it k..but you know, he's not there la. :( ..nvm..:)
im a blissful happy bday gal to be. :) hmm kinda piggy...i wanna eat a lot...jumbo, swensens..hmm recently, im kinda obsessed with the neoprint machine for werid reasons..:) hahas...my bday is coming!! ( feeling kinda retarded...to only feel that my bday is coming when it's kinda 2 days away...but what makes bday nice is the anticipation of gifts and food to come, isnt it??)
hahas...random me now...i simply think that tall guys are cute. :) *( look at my one o'clock and you know why)..
many things happened over last weekend...from crashing of com...to...many things la. But one thing will never change. Im still as stubborn as before. That's me.
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