I hate that sense of loneliness at home. Home is supposed to be warm but why now...haiz...
Sick today...got flu, fever, cough, sore throat.iT's pretty yucky when you tried to take all the medicine at ONE go!! yuck!! anyway, today didnt go to school..woke up in the morning and felt rather ill...the fever refuses to go away, so i decided to take a break..a breather...it's like jc life is sooo fast...before we can even catch hold of time..it just disappear..haiz..feeling a bit emotional today.
woke up at 12 pm..pretty dizzy after the long sleep but later im sleeping again.
yesterday bio spa was crap..everything is in a mess...the apple puree, the boiling tube,esp the weighing machine..crazy la...everything is haywire..but still managed to finish on time...fake results..haha...
so dizzy now....
--------
No matter how tiring and tough the journey might be, i will never ever give up......
Wish that now i could get rid of those suicial thoughts...so freaky to have them in my brain.....
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
CraZe
Hmm.. let me start from two days before today...saturday 20 Aug.
SAt 20 Aug:
it's pretty funny now, as we tried to remember what is it that actually motivated us to go for the entrepreneur competition, which all of us thgt was just a camp, giving us some crap in the end. I don't really remembered why we went...i went for the free food, irwin went for his portfolio, menghui went there for fun to have a look...and hon yiong, hmm i dunno. haha..anyway, when we reached boon lay mrt station on sat, we questioned the motive of ntu setting up this camp..and after breakfast, hon yiong and menghui said that they cant be that good as in to provide free transportation, free lunch, te break and dinner...after all, there's no free lunch in the world..not mentioning tea breaks and dinner as well...
hon yiong that it's advisiable for us to leave for ntu on a full stomach...chi bao hao shang lu...haha...meaning dying a full ghost or something..haha..the buildings were soo old..that menghui joked that it was a torture camp..to make things worse, we saw a man burning incense paper when we arrived...and menghui said that they are burning for us...so eerie...
the starting of the camp is boring...boring talk..but the second speaker was really good...ten failures and 1 success by his dad...haha..lunch was ok...and oh ya..did i say that irwin did something silly....he thgt he walked into the wrong toliet...and even walked out to see if it's the male toliet...crazy me..we all laughed like crazy..
then our group decided on
our group's name:Goal is Gold
slogan; Money without motive, capital to live.
we saw our mentor..he's not bad..he's a nice guy..but it's just that i nearly killed him on the train....
then after all boring talks, we brainstormed on our ideas..it's truly amazing..as we come up with crazy ideas...and even tried to scrap the shoe spray idea..but in the end, we kept with it....despite our mentor's disapproval...because that's the only workable idea that we had.
then..dinner...then...tired...and fainted...on the bed....
Sun 21 Aug:
going to step out of house..and knew that i didnt bring something....dunno why but felt that strong urge to go back and take my pens along...
went to Jurong Point with irwin for breakfast at long john..there's a briefing there..and we thgt that it was a secret society meeting..until we saw the team leader giving the briefing..breakfast is nice..and we saw a kailin look alike woman..but she's a malay...
went to the mrt station...stinky chocolate smell..didn't see hon yiong n menghui...thgt that they really didnt come..freaked out..but later realised that they reached there first...already....phew...
more talks...but we didnt listen. many teams didnt turn up for the talk...felt really that the competition was unfair...they are like at home brushing up on their proposal while we are here suffering...increasingly worried...but i guessed that it's the frantic rush for time that pressed us together as a team...working close...working more efficiently...
presentation is funny...but ok la....and we got into the finals! unexpected...but we didn't expect something more....
brushed up our presentation during the tea break...and presented it....our presentation is pale compared to the rest...but i guess it's doesn't really matter now..because we tried our best...and it's time we leave it to the hands of God...we were nervous...and got increasingly nervous, as the team before us....( we were 2nd to present)...it's a one man show..and that guy is super good la....sort of shake our confidence a bit..but the guys went on...and presented their ideas....which i really think that's good....
the judges were impressed and asked questions..haha..
and later during other's presentation...i made friends with the MCs...haha...they are nice pple....
then it was the most nerve racking moment : who's the winner??
3rd - SAJC
2nd - ACJC 3
1st- ACJC 5!!!! uS!!!
unbelievable!!!!!!!!seriously, at first, we thgt tat our idea is going to be crap compared to the rest, but never did we know that it is this same crazy crap idea that took us far...from the preliminary rounds to the finals....and eventually the winner....
from this competition, although it's tiring and all hard work, it gives us a chance to truly bond as a team...and it shows that nothing is impossible..even a crazy idea can become reality in the future......
and as long as you trust in God, believe him, depend on him for support, rest assured that our God never fails us.
He is one who stood by us, throughout the entire competition.
He is one who kept us going...who calm us down...who gives us support....
So...no matter what, as long as you have done your best,...just believe in God...and he will do the rest.
--
Monday:
Still feeling a bit excited and happy abt us winning the competition..beginning to feel the strain..the mental exhaustion from the previous two days work...tiring stuff....wanted to sleep..but managed to keep awake.
went shopping with mum...and sorta regretted it. she said that it was a shopping trip...but in the end...it's like...she blamed me for arriving late...*( hello...it's like i took cab la...)...and we shopped for jeans..it's like she wanted me to buy the another pair of jeans ...abt 20 odd dollars....because it's cheap...but the truth is that i dun like it...so when you don't like something, why bother buying it and waste your money?? next, we went to buy shirts..but in the end, we didnt because i didnt like any one there....and then i wanted to buy pencil case..because my currently one is rotting liao..
it's so horrible...when she started cursing you...screaming and shouting at you in a shopping centre....why cant she just spare a thgt for u.....she didnt.
she scolded me in a cab...regardless whether there is a taxi driver there a not..
continued nagging at me in the lift..
and at home....and that's where i cant keep my silence anymore....
** Disclaimer** the following content may not be pleasant..so if you dont want to read this, then dun read la..
She is forever like that...setting guilt traps with all the words like you dont appreciate me and stuff....but the problem is i do. I really wanted to hug her at times...but it's like everytime i do that...her shoulders will either turn rigid as though she's being attacked......or she will comment that im a grown up already...and that's the contradiction....im a grown up and a kid in her eyes.
it's like from young, i have been following HER way to doing stuff...she decides what i wear, eat and stuff....and it's like...she never really respected me to begin with....
imagin having a mum who scolds you...using all the crude words in hokkien and chinese...like bitch in chinese...and stuff.....FUCK her...
today is a day when i cant stand it anymore.
it's like everytime i go out she never fail to call...as though i will get kidnapped or something..anyway, to begin with, who wants to kidnap me??
it's always the case of 4 missed calls with 5 mins...or 18 missed calls within an hour...god knows what she has been doing for the past hour..
anyway, it's useless getting upset over a mum like her...you will only waste more energy.....so why not use the energy to do something more useful?
-----------
Anyway, no matter what, i strongly believe that God has a plan for each and everyone of us...and no plan is the same...
Although the journey may be tough and tiring, but as long as you never give up, you will get to see the rainbow at the end.
SAt 20 Aug:
it's pretty funny now, as we tried to remember what is it that actually motivated us to go for the entrepreneur competition, which all of us thgt was just a camp, giving us some crap in the end. I don't really remembered why we went...i went for the free food, irwin went for his portfolio, menghui went there for fun to have a look...and hon yiong, hmm i dunno. haha..anyway, when we reached boon lay mrt station on sat, we questioned the motive of ntu setting up this camp..and after breakfast, hon yiong and menghui said that they cant be that good as in to provide free transportation, free lunch, te break and dinner...after all, there's no free lunch in the world..not mentioning tea breaks and dinner as well...
hon yiong that it's advisiable for us to leave for ntu on a full stomach...chi bao hao shang lu...haha...meaning dying a full ghost or something..haha..the buildings were soo old..that menghui joked that it was a torture camp..to make things worse, we saw a man burning incense paper when we arrived...and menghui said that they are burning for us...so eerie...
the starting of the camp is boring...boring talk..but the second speaker was really good...ten failures and 1 success by his dad...haha..lunch was ok...and oh ya..did i say that irwin did something silly....he thgt he walked into the wrong toliet...and even walked out to see if it's the male toliet...crazy me..we all laughed like crazy..
then our group decided on
our group's name:Goal is Gold
slogan; Money without motive, capital to live.
we saw our mentor..he's not bad..he's a nice guy..but it's just that i nearly killed him on the train....
then after all boring talks, we brainstormed on our ideas..it's truly amazing..as we come up with crazy ideas...and even tried to scrap the shoe spray idea..but in the end, we kept with it....despite our mentor's disapproval...because that's the only workable idea that we had.
then..dinner...then...tired...and fainted...on the bed....
Sun 21 Aug:
going to step out of house..and knew that i didnt bring something....dunno why but felt that strong urge to go back and take my pens along...
went to Jurong Point with irwin for breakfast at long john..there's a briefing there..and we thgt that it was a secret society meeting..until we saw the team leader giving the briefing..breakfast is nice..and we saw a kailin look alike woman..but she's a malay...
went to the mrt station...stinky chocolate smell..didn't see hon yiong n menghui...thgt that they really didnt come..freaked out..but later realised that they reached there first...already....phew...
more talks...but we didnt listen. many teams didnt turn up for the talk...felt really that the competition was unfair...they are like at home brushing up on their proposal while we are here suffering...increasingly worried...but i guessed that it's the frantic rush for time that pressed us together as a team...working close...working more efficiently...
presentation is funny...but ok la....and we got into the finals! unexpected...but we didn't expect something more....
brushed up our presentation during the tea break...and presented it....our presentation is pale compared to the rest...but i guess it's doesn't really matter now..because we tried our best...and it's time we leave it to the hands of God...we were nervous...and got increasingly nervous, as the team before us....( we were 2nd to present)...it's a one man show..and that guy is super good la....sort of shake our confidence a bit..but the guys went on...and presented their ideas....which i really think that's good....
the judges were impressed and asked questions..haha..
and later during other's presentation...i made friends with the MCs...haha...they are nice pple....
then it was the most nerve racking moment : who's the winner??
3rd - SAJC
2nd - ACJC 3
1st- ACJC 5!!!! uS!!!
unbelievable!!!!!!!!seriously, at first, we thgt tat our idea is going to be crap compared to the rest, but never did we know that it is this same crazy crap idea that took us far...from the preliminary rounds to the finals....and eventually the winner....
from this competition, although it's tiring and all hard work, it gives us a chance to truly bond as a team...and it shows that nothing is impossible..even a crazy idea can become reality in the future......
and as long as you trust in God, believe him, depend on him for support, rest assured that our God never fails us.
He is one who stood by us, throughout the entire competition.
He is one who kept us going...who calm us down...who gives us support....
So...no matter what, as long as you have done your best,...just believe in God...and he will do the rest.
--
Monday:
Still feeling a bit excited and happy abt us winning the competition..beginning to feel the strain..the mental exhaustion from the previous two days work...tiring stuff....wanted to sleep..but managed to keep awake.
went shopping with mum...and sorta regretted it. she said that it was a shopping trip...but in the end...it's like...she blamed me for arriving late...*( hello...it's like i took cab la...)...and we shopped for jeans..it's like she wanted me to buy the another pair of jeans ...abt 20 odd dollars....because it's cheap...but the truth is that i dun like it...so when you don't like something, why bother buying it and waste your money?? next, we went to buy shirts..but in the end, we didnt because i didnt like any one there....and then i wanted to buy pencil case..because my currently one is rotting liao..
it's so horrible...when she started cursing you...screaming and shouting at you in a shopping centre....why cant she just spare a thgt for u.....she didnt.
she scolded me in a cab...regardless whether there is a taxi driver there a not..
continued nagging at me in the lift..
and at home....and that's where i cant keep my silence anymore....
** Disclaimer** the following content may not be pleasant..so if you dont want to read this, then dun read la..
She is forever like that...setting guilt traps with all the words like you dont appreciate me and stuff....but the problem is i do. I really wanted to hug her at times...but it's like everytime i do that...her shoulders will either turn rigid as though she's being attacked......or she will comment that im a grown up already...and that's the contradiction....im a grown up and a kid in her eyes.
it's like from young, i have been following HER way to doing stuff...she decides what i wear, eat and stuff....and it's like...she never really respected me to begin with....
imagin having a mum who scolds you...using all the crude words in hokkien and chinese...like bitch in chinese...and stuff.....FUCK her...
today is a day when i cant stand it anymore.
it's like everytime i go out she never fail to call...as though i will get kidnapped or something..anyway, to begin with, who wants to kidnap me??
it's always the case of 4 missed calls with 5 mins...or 18 missed calls within an hour...god knows what she has been doing for the past hour..
anyway, it's useless getting upset over a mum like her...you will only waste more energy.....so why not use the energy to do something more useful?
-----------
Anyway, no matter what, i strongly believe that God has a plan for each and everyone of us...and no plan is the same...
Although the journey may be tough and tiring, but as long as you never give up, you will get to see the rainbow at the end.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
a cup of coffee turning cold as the time goes by...
i dunno why..but ever since this week, i felt kinda isolated. maybe it's because im a bit too oversensitive..or due to other reasons..i dunno. just feeling a bit isolated, distant from people who once knew you best...it's funny, strange, yet true. so near yet so far. finally understand the meaning of it.
maybe it's me. i will try to figure out why...hmm...
nothing much really happened over these few days..just pe, bio prac, chem prac and stuff...so boring..wondering how my life will go on in the future, if i dont kick the habit of saying "tok leh", and " im bored."...anyway, i must really work hard liao..so that i can get good grades, and get into a university to study maths...then i will go overseas to further my studies...then i wanna be the greatest FEMALE mathematican in history.
i wanna be the one who can helps students enjoy maths, doing maths as though it's part of their daily routine..loving it...haha...as well as to fufil my dream of having a dream house, next to the beach....
--
Basically, nothing lasts forever, even you and I.
What last forever, are memories.
i dunno why..but ever since this week, i felt kinda isolated. maybe it's because im a bit too oversensitive..or due to other reasons..i dunno. just feeling a bit isolated, distant from people who once knew you best...it's funny, strange, yet true. so near yet so far. finally understand the meaning of it.
maybe it's me. i will try to figure out why...hmm...
nothing much really happened over these few days..just pe, bio prac, chem prac and stuff...so boring..wondering how my life will go on in the future, if i dont kick the habit of saying "tok leh", and " im bored."...anyway, i must really work hard liao..so that i can get good grades, and get into a university to study maths...then i will go overseas to further my studies...then i wanna be the greatest FEMALE mathematican in history.
i wanna be the one who can helps students enjoy maths, doing maths as though it's part of their daily routine..loving it...haha...as well as to fufil my dream of having a dream house, next to the beach....
--
Basically, nothing lasts forever, even you and I.
What last forever, are memories.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
i always loved the piano and the violin, because the music that comes out from them simple sounds magical, so fairytale like. the music helps to calm me down. i dunno why but it's pretty interesting and funny to have dreams almost everyday...on sun, it was a dream about me going shopping with menghui, irwin, jolene and someone else( who i cant remember). hmm so funny la, it's like after the dream, i can only remember where we went to eat and what we went shopping for - hair accessories in a shoe shop. haha..i can remembered jolen saying that chopsticks damage your hair..*(in my dream)...
then yesterday..i dreamt again.it's like part two to your dream...i dreamt that i was actually in reality and did really saw the shopping centre which we went in my dream...sounds complicated...dream in a dream..haha...kinda funny...
my head is spinning like crazy now..fever.flu.sore throat.and maybe cough soon. haiz..my life is always some sort related with sickness and stuff..haha...that's my life..i lost count of how many times i got sick this year...
haven study for my econs test tml..surely fail...if i managed to go to school tml..feeling weaker and weaker as the hours go by..only managed to come online to type this after 6 hours of sleep...hands losing control...brain thinking of many stuff....reflecting on my actions, behaviour and words that i had said over the past 8 months..this year..dunno why the sudden reflections came...but yup..i did reflect..
conclusion: i shall not be stupid anymore. why persist in something that you know will never happen?....im giving up.
life will still have to go on..
hmm im soo sick la..suffering from fatigue..*( mental exhaustion and physical exhaustion currently..)...haiz...*yawn* time to sleep again...
then yesterday..i dreamt again.it's like part two to your dream...i dreamt that i was actually in reality and did really saw the shopping centre which we went in my dream...sounds complicated...dream in a dream..haha...kinda funny...
my head is spinning like crazy now..fever.flu.sore throat.and maybe cough soon. haiz..my life is always some sort related with sickness and stuff..haha...that's my life..i lost count of how many times i got sick this year...
haven study for my econs test tml..surely fail...if i managed to go to school tml..feeling weaker and weaker as the hours go by..only managed to come online to type this after 6 hours of sleep...hands losing control...brain thinking of many stuff....reflecting on my actions, behaviour and words that i had said over the past 8 months..this year..dunno why the sudden reflections came...but yup..i did reflect..
conclusion: i shall not be stupid anymore. why persist in something that you know will never happen?....im giving up.
life will still have to go on..
hmm im soo sick la..suffering from fatigue..*( mental exhaustion and physical exhaustion currently..)...haiz...*yawn* time to sleep again...
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
ChAnGe...
hmmm.i dunno why im changing these days ( if u guys noticed the change). feeling a bit unstable at times, getting upset, angry over small things..hmm anyway, i think that it's usually the pple closest to u that hurt u the most at times.
dunno why im changing, just know that i am. getting a bit tired, drained out of energy during lectures even during maths..no longer keeping up...hmm it's time to keep up and catch up. anyway, time waits for no man. the world is never stop spinning for you, so i guess that we guys just have to carry on and live, even though now the life seriously sucks. it's sucks especially when you feel as though you are locked into a room, without no light..you can only feel around..feeling a bit doubtful..haha..
hmm..anyway, the morale of the story is just be happy and carry on with life..do your best and leave the rest of God.
anyway, i also realised something else..sometimes, certain things cannot be seen with the naked eye..instead it can only be felt by your heart.
<< yesterday >monday >>
maths test- goggy
got back econs test...did some reflections.
stayed back for Go green...
<< monday >>
nothing much...just lazing around..walking around like a zombie and stuff...lacking sleep when i slept for 8 hours.
watched supersize me....and felt the urge to drink coke and eat hamburgers..wondering whether it's the negative side effects of the show.hmm...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes, the storms are so heavy that you cant see anything..except yourself.
sometimes, it's difficult to live that breathing seems to be a chore...
sometimes, the skies grow so threatening that you cant even see the sun...
sometimes, the winter is so cold that nothing else seemed to live on earth...
but no matter what, just hang on and persist.
Because...
after the storm, the flowers will grow stronger....
after all difficulties, you will find being alive is indeed a blessing, a miracle..seeing the beginning of each day is a feat..
after going through everything, the dark clouds will disperse, leaving the sun and the moon to shine brightly...the stars to shine like lamp-posts..guiding us back home.
*** i dunno what im typing now....just typing what i feel...so if you understand it..then ok..if not...it's ok too ***
---
maybe it's time to grow up...and grow strong...
im gradually forgetting everything...
dunno why im changing, just know that i am. getting a bit tired, drained out of energy during lectures even during maths..no longer keeping up...hmm it's time to keep up and catch up. anyway, time waits for no man. the world is never stop spinning for you, so i guess that we guys just have to carry on and live, even though now the life seriously sucks. it's sucks especially when you feel as though you are locked into a room, without no light..you can only feel around..feeling a bit doubtful..haha..
hmm..anyway, the morale of the story is just be happy and carry on with life..do your best and leave the rest of God.
anyway, i also realised something else..sometimes, certain things cannot be seen with the naked eye..instead it can only be felt by your heart.
<< yesterday >monday >>
maths test- goggy
got back econs test...did some reflections.
stayed back for Go green...
<< monday >>
nothing much...just lazing around..walking around like a zombie and stuff...lacking sleep when i slept for 8 hours.
watched supersize me....and felt the urge to drink coke and eat hamburgers..wondering whether it's the negative side effects of the show.hmm...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes, the storms are so heavy that you cant see anything..except yourself.
sometimes, it's difficult to live that breathing seems to be a chore...
sometimes, the skies grow so threatening that you cant even see the sun...
sometimes, the winter is so cold that nothing else seemed to live on earth...
but no matter what, just hang on and persist.
Because...
after the storm, the flowers will grow stronger....
after all difficulties, you will find being alive is indeed a blessing, a miracle..seeing the beginning of each day is a feat..
after going through everything, the dark clouds will disperse, leaving the sun and the moon to shine brightly...the stars to shine like lamp-posts..guiding us back home.
*** i dunno what im typing now....just typing what i feel...so if you understand it..then ok..if not...it's ok too ***
---
maybe it's time to grow up...and grow strong...
im gradually forgetting everything...
Monday, August 15, 2005
hmm...maths day today....a bit sleepy..got up at 7 to have maths tution at 745..to 9..didnt get to see my fav digimon.haiz..doing maths ever since..till now...a bit goggy..haha..
hmm...suddenly.pausing to think...so what if we get good results? do it mean anything...in fact most of u do things in the future..that may not be related to what you are doing now..haha..
5 things that made me happy today:
1) Maths tution..confidence booster!!! ^-^
2) Getting prepared for the maths test!!
3) Watching tv...rekindled spirit...so nice..
4) Going out for a walk after lunch..did a bit of shopping..
5) Brainstorming on what i wanna be in the future...
6) Looking around for blogskins and saw cute pics on the way!!
Wanna be:
1) mathematican
2) photographer
3) artist
4) chemist
hmmm.....
^-^...
hmm...suddenly.pausing to think...so what if we get good results? do it mean anything...in fact most of u do things in the future..that may not be related to what you are doing now..haha..
5 things that made me happy today:
1) Maths tution..confidence booster!!! ^-^
2) Getting prepared for the maths test!!
3) Watching tv...rekindled spirit...so nice..
4) Going out for a walk after lunch..did a bit of shopping..
5) Brainstorming on what i wanna be in the future...
6) Looking around for blogskins and saw cute pics on the way!!
Wanna be:
1) mathematican
2) photographer
3) artist
4) chemist
hmmm.....
^-^...
Sunday, August 14, 2005
yeah...so happy for the time being!!!
Great day...woke up at 5 15 this morning..and realised that i have forgotten to switch off my alarm clock when i slept early at 9 yesterday.nvm..fall aslee again and woke up just in time to see my fav cartoon Digimon..love the life they lived..at least it's not all about studying..but lots of adventure..and experience kinda stuff..
next was EoM..hmm..hated it at first..dunno what to write..trying to drag everything to make it 6oo words..but once i started writing, i wrote about 900 words..in the end, i was like trying to summarise each paragraph...it's pretty nice..and satisfying after doing it...great achievement for me..and suddenly i realised that EoM was fun after all..as u brainstorming on crazy ideas..
hmm time to do maths...
so tired...after walking the whole of Bedok with my family just to get a fire extinguisher...haiz new happenings everyday...
Great day...woke up at 5 15 this morning..and realised that i have forgotten to switch off my alarm clock when i slept early at 9 yesterday.nvm..fall aslee again and woke up just in time to see my fav cartoon Digimon..love the life they lived..at least it's not all about studying..but lots of adventure..and experience kinda stuff..
next was EoM..hmm..hated it at first..dunno what to write..trying to drag everything to make it 6oo words..but once i started writing, i wrote about 900 words..in the end, i was like trying to summarise each paragraph...it's pretty nice..and satisfying after doing it...great achievement for me..and suddenly i realised that EoM was fun after all..as u brainstorming on crazy ideas..
hmm time to do maths...
so tired...after walking the whole of Bedok with my family just to get a fire extinguisher...haiz new happenings everyday...
Saturday, August 13, 2005
thursday:
pissed off by certain insensitive comments. wanted to play tennis...the weather is nice...but the court is locked..in the end, ended up playing volleyball. washed hair...econs is nice and fun..bio prac is irritating, frustrating...after maths...guess yourself..
so pissed off..and irritated that i didnt wanna comment much on the bus journey home..one word reply...one line reply..coz i could feel hot tears in my eyes..threatening to spill....
friday:
last lesson of body combat...so sad in the end..when the last song played...will kinda miss the instructor...econs is boring...chem prac is fun...with the suction pump thingy..and the lab tech helping us...purple eyeshadow powder!!....bio haiz..the camp discussion is crap...and everything after that is crap.crap.crap.crap.
felt isolated.irritated,frustrated.angered.transparent.
maybe im too sensitive...or just a bit too petty..xiao qi...
but...
it's pretty helpless when u want someone to talk to...and you realised that no one is free...lines engaged..missed calls..haiz..
to all those who got scolded for nothing....: sorry.
pissed off by certain insensitive comments. wanted to play tennis...the weather is nice...but the court is locked..in the end, ended up playing volleyball. washed hair...econs is nice and fun..bio prac is irritating, frustrating...after maths...guess yourself..
so pissed off..and irritated that i didnt wanna comment much on the bus journey home..one word reply...one line reply..coz i could feel hot tears in my eyes..threatening to spill....
friday:
last lesson of body combat...so sad in the end..when the last song played...will kinda miss the instructor...econs is boring...chem prac is fun...with the suction pump thingy..and the lab tech helping us...purple eyeshadow powder!!....bio haiz..the camp discussion is crap...and everything after that is crap.crap.crap.crap.
felt isolated.irritated,frustrated.angered.transparent.
maybe im too sensitive...or just a bit too petty..xiao qi...
but...
it's pretty helpless when u want someone to talk to...and you realised that no one is free...lines engaged..missed calls..haiz..
to all those who got scolded for nothing....: sorry.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
fated
hmm today is a very fated day...everything seemed to be planned nicely by god...everything...so planned...fated...
today i wasnt really planning to go out...due to the fact that there's no one to go shopping with me...everyone is like not free....but in the end, i simply felt the urge to call my best friend, Xiao Yuan..called her..and started talking to her..and before we knew anything..we went out..met at outram then go bugis..although we didnt really do much, it's great to be with her...teasing her red face..laughing...joking..talking how we used to do in crescent..the G block toliets..big and spacious...fond memories floating in the mind..haha..great...went to look at many stuff...earrings...necklaces..and bracelets..and she said that i unleashed that weakness for earrings in her..haha...thenn at abt 3..we parted..
went for salvation army..it's funny..coz the taxi driver is crazy..laughing to himself...hmm...frightened..went there and looked at the environment...and had a mini briefing..then went junction 8 for dinner and to talk over things...so funny now...as we planned for different sections of the camp..different people and group leaders...and what to bring.....spelt sandals..as scandals by accident...and the milo and milk thing..haha...lcm...haha...so funny la..karmen's purple shirt and pen...and pam said that purple is a colour for__________...haha..you guys knew it...laughing over the pyjammas portion..dress code: to keep ur clothes on at all times....laughing like crazy la..hmm im in the admin committee for the camp...the camp sounds nice....hmm i wanna go for it soon!! how i wish that we dun hav promos...haha....
then we parted and went home...but i didnt expected to meet my friend Xiao Yuan again!! so funny...and fated....received her sms...and realised that we were on the train together....got off together and met one another once again...without telling one another...so romantic..just like the part when the male and female lead saw one another...and hugged one another haha....
so fated....haha...meeting her again after six and a half hours..
feeling great after going out today!! .....^-^
today i wasnt really planning to go out...due to the fact that there's no one to go shopping with me...everyone is like not free....but in the end, i simply felt the urge to call my best friend, Xiao Yuan..called her..and started talking to her..and before we knew anything..we went out..met at outram then go bugis..although we didnt really do much, it's great to be with her...teasing her red face..laughing...joking..talking how we used to do in crescent..the G block toliets..big and spacious...fond memories floating in the mind..haha..great...went to look at many stuff...earrings...necklaces..and bracelets..and she said that i unleashed that weakness for earrings in her..haha...thenn at abt 3..we parted..
went for salvation army..it's funny..coz the taxi driver is crazy..laughing to himself...hmm...frightened..went there and looked at the environment...and had a mini briefing..then went junction 8 for dinner and to talk over things...so funny now...as we planned for different sections of the camp..different people and group leaders...and what to bring.....spelt sandals..as scandals by accident...and the milo and milk thing..haha...lcm...haha...so funny la..karmen's purple shirt and pen...and pam said that purple is a colour for__________...haha..you guys knew it...laughing over the pyjammas portion..dress code: to keep ur clothes on at all times....laughing like crazy la..hmm im in the admin committee for the camp...the camp sounds nice....hmm i wanna go for it soon!! how i wish that we dun hav promos...haha....
then we parted and went home...but i didnt expected to meet my friend Xiao Yuan again!! so funny...and fated....received her sms...and realised that we were on the train together....got off together and met one another once again...without telling one another...so romantic..just like the part when the male and female lead saw one another...and hugged one another haha....
so fated....haha...meeting her again after six and a half hours..
feeling great after going out today!! .....^-^
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
hmm...today is a GREAT day,,though it's a bit boring to begin with..
school is a bit sleepy, boring, hungry, tiring...due to the long speeches, marches as well as the phantom of the opera's singing..haha..weapons of mass destruction..( amanda said that...when lizzy started to sing..haha...)..then mummy and daddy went to collect the stuff...but in the end, i only see mummy..haha..mummy, where's daddy? haha... the songs were funny..i was just looking at the dancers' instead...irwin looked rather shocked..as karmen kept waving to him..haha...super funny la..and as for the brownies..claire..thanks!! i simply love them...and i love you as well..haha...flattened brownies after i smashed them..
breakfast was fun!!me, irwin, claire and brandon went out to eat.....then after that, we shopped for stickers..then went home..the wait for the bus is a very very very long one..nearly dozed off...*yawns*...
after that, i went home to bathe and change....and after about twenty minutes, we went to lavender..to make passport..it's pretty boring but a bit funny...trying to smile...forcing out a smile...after smiling for many times already.but i dare to say that i look great in the photo...super ego...haha!!..then me, my mum and sis went to bugis to shop!!! great shopping!!
i bought lots of stuff...two pairs of earrings...*(hmm after i lost one piece of that butterfly earrings....soo soo sad la...i simply love that butterfly earrings...but i lost one piece of it..the small piece on one of the earrings..haiz..super sad...)....then we bought stickers...cute stickers...then later i went to buy face mask!! so funny la..choosing face mask..laughing at my mum and sis....great day...today..simply enjoyed today's shopping..
hope everyday is shopping day!!
hmmm...it's a long holiday..so...i miss you guys...and love ya!! * with lots of hugs, kisses, and love!!*
* open declaration*: I love you, karmen and cheryl!!
school is a bit sleepy, boring, hungry, tiring...due to the long speeches, marches as well as the phantom of the opera's singing..haha..weapons of mass destruction..( amanda said that...when lizzy started to sing..haha...)..then mummy and daddy went to collect the stuff...but in the end, i only see mummy..haha..mummy, where's daddy? haha... the songs were funny..i was just looking at the dancers' instead...irwin looked rather shocked..as karmen kept waving to him..haha...super funny la..and as for the brownies..claire..thanks!! i simply love them...and i love you as well..haha...flattened brownies after i smashed them..
breakfast was fun!!me, irwin, claire and brandon went out to eat.....then after that, we shopped for stickers..then went home..the wait for the bus is a very very very long one..nearly dozed off...*yawns*...
after that, i went home to bathe and change....and after about twenty minutes, we went to lavender..to make passport..it's pretty boring but a bit funny...trying to smile...forcing out a smile...after smiling for many times already.but i dare to say that i look great in the photo...super ego...haha!!..then me, my mum and sis went to bugis to shop!!! great shopping!!
i bought lots of stuff...two pairs of earrings...*(hmm after i lost one piece of that butterfly earrings....soo soo sad la...i simply love that butterfly earrings...but i lost one piece of it..the small piece on one of the earrings..haiz..super sad...)....then we bought stickers...cute stickers...then later i went to buy face mask!! so funny la..choosing face mask..laughing at my mum and sis....great day...today..simply enjoyed today's shopping..
hope everyday is shopping day!!
hmmm...it's a long holiday..so...i miss you guys...and love ya!! * with lots of hugs, kisses, and love!!*
* open declaration*: I love you, karmen and cheryl!!
Monday, August 08, 2005
hmm yesterday is a day of mixed feelings...feelings of happiness, frustration, anger, helpless....tears...
yesterday FOP was great..first we met at the mrt station at 4 15..then we tried to take a bus..the marching stuff..crossing dressing *( brandy and mandy will know who im referring to..haha)*...then a taixz...keep turning my head to see whether jadey is lost....then a mrt train. all by land..haha...then after reaching there, we called for a cab and got there...the waiting process is a bit long...but it's funny...got to know many ppl...if i can still remember the name..hmm mei feng, issac, kok seng...pretty fun...laughing at mandy and brandy...and jadey..but when we got in there, i knew that all the waiting is worth it..the FOP was nice...all the songs...wanted to jump..i tried but decide not to...coz the thing is kinda unstable..after mandy and jadey jumped...haha..loved the songs..praising god...simply loved the last song..majesty thingy...loved the tune...as well as what that man said ...about moses and the fire..and the bush..
after that..hmm...what happened just destroyed all the good mood i had. my mum started calling me...asking me when im coming home..when i dun even know when..and i didnt want to give her a time...because everytime i did...she would expect me to be home at that time..and if i give any later time..she would start screaming at her...and since this month is seven month...it's another reason that she would state. anyway who cares? ghosts do exist..they are everywhere...but at least they are not that horrifying than my mum....i would rather face them than to face her...frustrating woman...f*** ***...haiz...then when i reached home...i tried to keep my cool...refusing to open my mouth..and then she took advantage of it...kept shouting and screaming at me...for 15 min...even when im in the toliet...just like a mad woman...suddenly i realised that im just like the girl in the book....overprotective..
it's like for 16 years ..she tried to keep me out from the real world...and when i tried to see it...she pulled me back..she often said that im overdependent on her...but it's she who made me dependent on her.....it's like it takes two hands to clap..in order for a morning glory to grow upwards...it has to twirl around a fence...
in the end, my dad stepped in and tried to calm everything. he tried to talk to me...and my mum is obviously listening to it..without our permission...and when i said something...she just stepped in and corrected me in HER way.F her...so frustrated...it's like.....haiz..nvm...
she's so frustrating that my dad cant even stand her at times...it's like yesterday he was so frustrated with her nagging, screaming and shouting that he asked her to go to bed first..and when she didn't...it's like..war...and he even commented what mother she is. in fact i wanted to ask her that.
she kept us from the real world...maybe it's her way of doing things...protecting us..but is it good for us..a protected flower is vulnerable to storms and winds..the minute it's out in the open...alone...
i dun want to be like that.`i wanna be a strong weed.
i dun care much now...praying hard...mugging hard..rather motivated...im gonna score for all my tests.....so that i can get to a overseas university. the further the better...
nvm...i guess that we will never know how parents feel until we became one...and if i do....i will make sure that i will never be like her...and if im like her...i rather not marry..and tire the other half...hmm...
still feeling a bit sore over what is happening..
what's wrong with going to FOP? hey i didnt even agree that im a buddhist...even if you forced me to....God is still be in my heart...
i promised that this is going to be the last time that im ever going to cry that badly...yesterday i cried until my eyes turned a bit swollen..hot tears stinging your eyes...pricking at the corner of your eyes..just cant stop....cried myself to sleep...my heart is bleeding....
from today onwards...im not going to cry anymore.
im going back to that old me.
that cold me.
--
yesterday FOP was great..first we met at the mrt station at 4 15..then we tried to take a bus..the marching stuff..crossing dressing *( brandy and mandy will know who im referring to..haha)*...then a taixz...keep turning my head to see whether jadey is lost....then a mrt train. all by land..haha...then after reaching there, we called for a cab and got there...the waiting process is a bit long...but it's funny...got to know many ppl...if i can still remember the name..hmm mei feng, issac, kok seng...pretty fun...laughing at mandy and brandy...and jadey..but when we got in there, i knew that all the waiting is worth it..the FOP was nice...all the songs...wanted to jump..i tried but decide not to...coz the thing is kinda unstable..after mandy and jadey jumped...haha..loved the songs..praising god...simply loved the last song..majesty thingy...loved the tune...as well as what that man said ...about moses and the fire..and the bush..
after that..hmm...what happened just destroyed all the good mood i had. my mum started calling me...asking me when im coming home..when i dun even know when..and i didnt want to give her a time...because everytime i did...she would expect me to be home at that time..and if i give any later time..she would start screaming at her...and since this month is seven month...it's another reason that she would state. anyway who cares? ghosts do exist..they are everywhere...but at least they are not that horrifying than my mum....i would rather face them than to face her...frustrating woman...f*** ***...haiz...then when i reached home...i tried to keep my cool...refusing to open my mouth..and then she took advantage of it...kept shouting and screaming at me...for 15 min...even when im in the toliet...just like a mad woman...suddenly i realised that im just like the girl in the book....overprotective..
it's like for 16 years ..she tried to keep me out from the real world...and when i tried to see it...she pulled me back..she often said that im overdependent on her...but it's she who made me dependent on her.....it's like it takes two hands to clap..in order for a morning glory to grow upwards...it has to twirl around a fence...
in the end, my dad stepped in and tried to calm everything. he tried to talk to me...and my mum is obviously listening to it..without our permission...and when i said something...she just stepped in and corrected me in HER way.F her...so frustrated...it's like.....haiz..nvm...
she's so frustrating that my dad cant even stand her at times...it's like yesterday he was so frustrated with her nagging, screaming and shouting that he asked her to go to bed first..and when she didn't...it's like..war...and he even commented what mother she is. in fact i wanted to ask her that.
she kept us from the real world...maybe it's her way of doing things...protecting us..but is it good for us..a protected flower is vulnerable to storms and winds..the minute it's out in the open...alone...
i dun want to be like that.`i wanna be a strong weed.
i dun care much now...praying hard...mugging hard..rather motivated...im gonna score for all my tests.....so that i can get to a overseas university. the further the better...
nvm...i guess that we will never know how parents feel until we became one...and if i do....i will make sure that i will never be like her...and if im like her...i rather not marry..and tire the other half...hmm...
still feeling a bit sore over what is happening..
what's wrong with going to FOP? hey i didnt even agree that im a buddhist...even if you forced me to....God is still be in my heart...
i promised that this is going to be the last time that im ever going to cry that badly...yesterday i cried until my eyes turned a bit swollen..hot tears stinging your eyes...pricking at the corner of your eyes..just cant stop....cried myself to sleep...my heart is bleeding....
from today onwards...im not going to cry anymore.
im going back to that old me.
that cold me.
--
Saturday, August 06, 2005
so long never update blog liao..it's have been two days liao..haha..
today is a great day in my opinion....although these days, time seems to fly..like a rocket..
today's body combat is GREAT!!!...those funny moves...haha..stabbing...haha...punching..kicking...the sir even taught us how to attack the opponents...just grab the head and give it a hard kick..haha...it
's pretty fun..standing at the back...coz you get to see everything..those funny people..those funny actions...i saw claire looking a bit stoned...laughing..constantly aiming at her target..those moves...liz looking a bit blur...christine and jialing..laughing..debbie a bit stoned...ahaha..karmen with her hair swaying to her sides...hmmm...it's great...and these days, i seemed to bond better with the class...esp with the palm girls..ever since the incident, i seemed to socialise a bit more..and my opinions of people seemed to change..from the extreme to the neutral point..it's not bad being neutral after all..at pH 7..haha..
today's chem is fun!!...we boiled...and boiled and boiled the solution...filter..weigh...haha...i simply love the water bath part!! haha..simply love it...and chem lect is fun!!! bio lec is funnier..coz of the cow mating with the bull thing..haha..
super happy today...due to maths...i wonder if doing maths releases endophins...*( if spelt correctly)...and my super nice tutor got me my new maths textbook!! great...it's blue!! haha....
at first i made up my mind to go for the festival of song of praise thing...but now..there's so much work to do..hmmm....soo much studying to do...and so much..homework..revision.....struggling with the thought of whether to go and do...but serously i hope that i can.
hmm......
simply love today's devotion.....Lord asking that man to push....and the men misinterpreting what he wanted....hmmm....meaningful...
it's time for me to find a meaningful life....life that is unique...
---
a bright star in the night skies...
today is a great day in my opinion....although these days, time seems to fly..like a rocket..
today's body combat is GREAT!!!...those funny moves...haha..stabbing...haha...punching..kicking...the sir even taught us how to attack the opponents...just grab the head and give it a hard kick..haha...it
's pretty fun..standing at the back...coz you get to see everything..those funny people..those funny actions...i saw claire looking a bit stoned...laughing..constantly aiming at her target..those moves...liz looking a bit blur...christine and jialing..laughing..debbie a bit stoned...ahaha..karmen with her hair swaying to her sides...hmmm...it's great...and these days, i seemed to bond better with the class...esp with the palm girls..ever since the incident, i seemed to socialise a bit more..and my opinions of people seemed to change..from the extreme to the neutral point..it's not bad being neutral after all..at pH 7..haha..
today's chem is fun!!...we boiled...and boiled and boiled the solution...filter..weigh...haha...i simply love the water bath part!! haha..simply love it...and chem lect is fun!!! bio lec is funnier..coz of the cow mating with the bull thing..haha..
super happy today...due to maths...i wonder if doing maths releases endophins...*( if spelt correctly)...and my super nice tutor got me my new maths textbook!! great...it's blue!! haha....
at first i made up my mind to go for the festival of song of praise thing...but now..there's so much work to do..hmmm....soo much studying to do...and so much..homework..revision.....struggling with the thought of whether to go and do...but serously i hope that i can.
hmm......
simply love today's devotion.....Lord asking that man to push....and the men misinterpreting what he wanted....hmmm....meaningful...
it's time for me to find a meaningful life....life that is unique...
---
a bright star in the night skies...
Thursday, August 04, 2005
hmm...after thinking for such a long time....hmmm....it's time to move on..
anyway, i think that im going for the hillsong thing! yeah...maybe im going..90% sure haha...unless late min my mum scream at me or i get lost..haha...
hmm...listening to vitamin C...finally understood when im so sad...time to listen to happy songs!
anyway, i think that im going for the hillsong thing! yeah...maybe im going..90% sure haha...unless late min my mum scream at me or i get lost..haha...
hmm...listening to vitamin C...finally understood when im so sad...time to listen to happy songs!
hmm...feeling much better today..although feeling a bit pointless, hopeless and frustrated about that titration curve's remedial..crazy la..it's like my heart is not there...so why bother? really..i seriously believe that once you dun like a subk=ject, u will not do well in it...hmm toking abt that, today i stayed back to photocopy the maths stuff with karmen...so funny la...talking la in the photocoping room...laughing and shouting haha..pretty fun....never walked out with karmen before...today is the first time..haha...so nice...
hmm as for that prob which i blogged about yesterday..i know..it's time to let go of things which you can never grab hold of....but it's seemed to contradict with my beliefs...seriously..i believed that impossible is nothing..and nothing is impossible...call me stubborn....haiz....maybe after this incident i will grow stronger...in fact i am. From young it's funny but i seemed to be like the girl in the lit book after i recalled my childhood....my mum taught me to look straight at the needle and not cry out..
im always strong...i never cry over minor....not when i fell into the drain and had a huge deep cut on my knee....not when the chickenpox disaster was so painful....
but...haiz...nvm....
time is flying past me...time to catch time..haha...
----
time to let go...time to forget...time to move on...time to walk alone..
anyway these days everyone around me is like super quiet la..must tok more k?
---
even as the dark clouds in the skies merge, why not hope that they will disappear, revealing the warm rays from the sun behind?
even during winter, as everything remains frozen beneath the ground, why not hope for the spring..the time when everything comes back to life...with colours returning back to earth...
even during the storm, never give up...never stop hoping....because...after the rain...there's a rainbow..
so no matter whatever trials and obstacles that i have to overcome..i strongly believed that behind these trials and obstacles, there's a beautiful rainbow..waiting for u and I....haha...
hmmm......
time to start life anew...afresh...
hmm as for that prob which i blogged about yesterday..i know..it's time to let go of things which you can never grab hold of....but it's seemed to contradict with my beliefs...seriously..i believed that impossible is nothing..and nothing is impossible...call me stubborn....haiz....maybe after this incident i will grow stronger...in fact i am. From young it's funny but i seemed to be like the girl in the lit book after i recalled my childhood....my mum taught me to look straight at the needle and not cry out..
im always strong...i never cry over minor....not when i fell into the drain and had a huge deep cut on my knee....not when the chickenpox disaster was so painful....
but...haiz...nvm....
time is flying past me...time to catch time..haha...
----
time to let go...time to forget...time to move on...time to walk alone..
anyway these days everyone around me is like super quiet la..must tok more k?
---
even as the dark clouds in the skies merge, why not hope that they will disappear, revealing the warm rays from the sun behind?
even during winter, as everything remains frozen beneath the ground, why not hope for the spring..the time when everything comes back to life...with colours returning back to earth...
even during the storm, never give up...never stop hoping....because...after the rain...there's a rainbow..
so no matter whatever trials and obstacles that i have to overcome..i strongly believed that behind these trials and obstacles, there's a beautiful rainbow..waiting for u and I....haha...
hmmm......
time to start life anew...afresh...
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
hmm..listening to songs..it's strange but true..on the fact that songs do change ur mood....when you listen to a sad song, u feel sad..sadder when the song kept replaying in your head..stuck there forever as you recall the past..what had happened..all those stuff..memorable...angry and sad stuff....hmmm... and when you listen to a happy song, of course you feel happy.
hmm..the sad song on karmen's blog just make me feel a bit sad today...hmm...started me thinking on the past 1SD2....friends...how they are...then comparing it with now...totally different..hmm..i told myself that nothing last forever...but as long as we keep those memories in our hearts, they will live forever...but sometimes i just cant figure out..why we need memories..when the people are no longer..around..haiz...
it's pretty a bit useless feeling sad over these stuff...im not sad la...just feeling a bit disturbed..
everyone around me is like half-dead la...except for karmen..hmm hey guys, just cheer up k? no matter what happens...storms...floods...draught....and stuff...dun worry...just keep calm...certain things will solve out by themselves...
---------
i dunno what im going to type now...so if u dun understand ..just ignore it..
it's like i thgt tat im already numb....that i have already beginning to learn to let go....that i have already trying hard to forget......that im already trying hard to just numb myself...
but there are certain things which i still cant let go....
i dunno why im so...stupid...so stubborn....so determined....stubborn me....
it's just like you like this durian very much...and you know that the durian's spikes are sharp and will hurt you....yet you still want to touch it..
it's just like you know that sticking your hands out will hurt you....yet you still wanna stick your hands out and get hurt..
it's just like you know that once you step on this route...you are in a deep hole...and there's no turning back...yet you still jump in....
stupid la....stupid la...stubborn la..
from young, im always that stubborn.
i still can remember there's once that i like this necklace very very much...but my mother told me not to buy it...but i simply just fell in love with it at the first sight..hmm in the end, 15 mins later....i climbed up four storeys to get that necklace...stubborn me...but in the end,...a few weeks later...i just left that necklace on the shelf forever..
i thgt tat this incident is just like the necklace incident....but it's not true...it has been a long time already...and im tired already.
if liking someone is so tiring....so exhausting...so painful....i rather not like...
in the past, i would have a different opinion...and like at all costs..but now..
as long as that person is happy...i will be happy. i cant say that i will...but i will try...
---------
hmmm.....also dunno what im typing..just ignore me...just ignore me and dun think too much...
hmm....it's time to forget everything and move on.....the journey ahead awaits us....a journey fraught with dangers and difficult....but so what?
as what karmen says, if life gives you lemons..then make lemonade..
haha...to be lame..if life gives you flour, eggs and sugar...then make cakes!
hmm...if life gives me apples and aloe vera...then i can make apple and aloe vera juice!! haha...yeah im happy now...after listening to twins song! so nice...
hmm lots of stuff to do...^-^so jia you....fill your oil tanks and get ready to blast! ...haha...i wanna go for the hillsong thing.....hmm maybe i shld try to persuade my mum.................
............. .............
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hmm..the sad song on karmen's blog just make me feel a bit sad today...hmm...started me thinking on the past 1SD2....friends...how they are...then comparing it with now...totally different..hmm..i told myself that nothing last forever...but as long as we keep those memories in our hearts, they will live forever...but sometimes i just cant figure out..why we need memories..when the people are no longer..around..haiz...
it's pretty a bit useless feeling sad over these stuff...im not sad la...just feeling a bit disturbed..
everyone around me is like half-dead la...except for karmen..hmm hey guys, just cheer up k? no matter what happens...storms...floods...draught....and stuff...dun worry...just keep calm...certain things will solve out by themselves...
---------
i dunno what im going to type now...so if u dun understand ..just ignore it..
it's like i thgt tat im already numb....that i have already beginning to learn to let go....that i have already trying hard to forget......that im already trying hard to just numb myself...
but there are certain things which i still cant let go....
i dunno why im so...stupid...so stubborn....so determined....stubborn me....
it's just like you like this durian very much...and you know that the durian's spikes are sharp and will hurt you....yet you still want to touch it..
it's just like you know that sticking your hands out will hurt you....yet you still wanna stick your hands out and get hurt..
it's just like you know that once you step on this route...you are in a deep hole...and there's no turning back...yet you still jump in....
stupid la....stupid la...stubborn la..
from young, im always that stubborn.
i still can remember there's once that i like this necklace very very much...but my mother told me not to buy it...but i simply just fell in love with it at the first sight..hmm in the end, 15 mins later....i climbed up four storeys to get that necklace...stubborn me...but in the end,...a few weeks later...i just left that necklace on the shelf forever..
i thgt tat this incident is just like the necklace incident....but it's not true...it has been a long time already...and im tired already.
if liking someone is so tiring....so exhausting...so painful....i rather not like...
in the past, i would have a different opinion...and like at all costs..but now..
as long as that person is happy...i will be happy. i cant say that i will...but i will try...
---------
hmmm.....also dunno what im typing..just ignore me...just ignore me and dun think too much...
hmm....it's time to forget everything and move on.....the journey ahead awaits us....a journey fraught with dangers and difficult....but so what?
as what karmen says, if life gives you lemons..then make lemonade..
haha...to be lame..if life gives you flour, eggs and sugar...then make cakes!
hmm...if life gives me apples and aloe vera...then i can make apple and aloe vera juice!! haha...yeah im happy now...after listening to twins song! so nice...
hmm lots of stuff to do...^-^so jia you....fill your oil tanks and get ready to blast! ...haha...i wanna go for the hillsong thing.....hmm maybe i shld try to persuade my mum.................
............. .............
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
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33333333333333333333333333333
Monday, August 01, 2005
hmm...today..BEAU.tiful day..haha...woke up just in time to see the sunrise.a..bit..it's pretty funny and strange not to start a Sunday morning with maths tution.hmm...my tutor had a walk today..so..im free in the morning..maths in the afternoon..hmm sounds sleepy...
did chem eqm..in the morning..realised some mistakes..hmm...haha..but i love chem.
did maths for the next five hours..including maths tution,...never knew that i love maths to that extent..i still like it..even though imm frustrated and irritated by it...haiz..
here i am..chatting now...so much to do..hmm...need help in writing EoM and ionic eqm..haha....haiz...everyday is like just racing past me..before i know that it's over...it's over..haha....
hmm...maybe i should try mediating..after all...from my sis mag, it says that mediating is good for the body, mind and soul....and it's for the young and old..haha..
gtg soon....cya tml!!! ^-^
before i know anything...it's already the last day of july....haiz...seven months gone in a flash...but im looking forward to better things in the future...like morning chapel and stuff...
smileZ more!
did chem eqm..in the morning..realised some mistakes..hmm...haha..but i love chem.
did maths for the next five hours..including maths tution,...never knew that i love maths to that extent..i still like it..even though imm frustrated and irritated by it...haiz..
here i am..chatting now...so much to do..hmm...need help in writing EoM and ionic eqm..haha....haiz...everyday is like just racing past me..before i know that it's over...it's over..haha....
hmm...maybe i should try mediating..after all...from my sis mag, it says that mediating is good for the body, mind and soul....and it's for the young and old..haha..
gtg soon....cya tml!!! ^-^
before i know anything...it's already the last day of july....haiz...seven months gone in a flash...but im looking forward to better things in the future...like morning chapel and stuff...
smileZ more!
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