a new day:) actually i just cant imagine that tomorrow will be the start of exams le..it's like..too fast...and obviously im not prepared..im like kinda expecting to get a cap of 1.5 loh...anyway, nvm i will work harder the next sem. or rather i shld say i will start to work next sem? hahas..

to digress a bit, today's weather is nice...and im kinda still half awake , still dreaming of nice green fields, lots of sunshine and laughter. just weird dreams. and i even dream of the question paper for computing, hope it comes out though. got a weird feeling abt it. hahas...anyway, everything seems to happen too fast, isnt it? suddenly, it seems as though yesterday the blur stupid me just learnt a bit of computing and tomorrow im going for the exams...hahas..and to make things crazy, im actually looking forward to it. secretly i like computing no matter how many times i flunked it. cozz i know that i flunked it coz im nervous not coz i cant do. anyway, im not going to get nervous again..no way...feeling kinda emo too..thought computing is kinda 'fun', but i guess maybe in the near future i wont really do any programming course..killed too many brain cells le..anyway, im just talking nonsense here, so if you happen to read this, just skip. anyway, it's my blog:)

joy..joy..joy...what's joy?
life ...life..life..what's life?
random questions...guess that there's no correct or wrong answers to them. but i hope that one day someone will show me what it is. :)

---
enough of random thinking..and bitching...enough of emo.
just random surfing and i saw someone post this question on his/her blog...dunno whether it's her/his....

if today is the last day:
i will do computing:)

Hope

hope keeps you alive when you are already drowning in a pile ..okies, more than one pile of undone notes. hope keeps you sane even though how much you want to let go. hope:)
hmm thiiiink that for these past few days...especially these days, my emotional status *(is this how i call it? oh well)* anyway it feels like a rollercoaster ride. in fact i think everything is like a rollercoaster ride. studying is bad. hahas..its up then its down. it's up again and it's down again. im going crazy totally already.i just need a bottle of vodka.wait, maybe more than one. i just want to not think abt anything and get completely knocked out.

hmmm...anyway, while im like stuck at home studying, my mind is like planning what to do le...the things i will do the min the exams are over: and i mean the min it's over which is 3 dec 07, at 11.01 am. i will draw out my savings from the bank and go shopping!
plan:
bugis, and orchard. :) simple plan. hahas...provided that it doesnt rain that day. i dun like shopping on rainy days! :)

hmm today's integration day!! crazy le, anw i went to read my tutor's blog...it's like darn f*** vulgar..hahas..but it reflects the world's most honest thoughts...and in thoughts that you thought of...and you never said it out loud. quite interesting.

hope keeps me alive now. at least for the time being. i need more hope:)
---

i was like on the bus with my friend yesterday after one day of mugging in the lib. and i started the conversation on how time really flies. i was saying it seems as though something...*(well i forgot la...) and she replied," to me, it seems as though sch just started yesterday and now, it's going to be examinations le."..haiz how true it is.

im like listening to jay chou's new album..im going to buy it and buy a mp3player too!:)
----

when the curtains drop from above, and the audience is gone, what's left? I woke up today with this question. and strange enough, i didnt dream anything abt integration though i did like 10h of integration. im having weird dreams..the previous time i dreamt of computin stuff...:)crazy me.

im dreaming of a wide green field.:)

hmm blogstalking a bit:) anyway, it really feels good to even touch the com after studying from 9 -9...hmm and i only covered 2.5 chapters? productivity drops..hmm but it feels to talk to someone after facing only my books, my notes, myself and the cubicle for 10 whole hours, after substracting the hours i take to snack, lunch,and dine.:)anyway, its stupid la, coz i happily went out of the library, leaving my cashcard, matrice card and ezlink card on the table. hmm thank god it's still there when i came back, and obviously i went back into the lib with the help of the librarian. darn stupid and embarrassing la. stupid blur me.

anyway, summary of what i studied.:
1) differenatiation is boring.applications of it is worse.
2) integration is nice, though it's troublesome.
3) i kept thinking of you no matter what i do. now, i just want to erase every trace of you from my mind, my thgts...coz my brain is running out of space le.

sometimes it's irritating when you tried hard to concentrate and your mind is filled of only one thing which is not your study material...and how come it feels as though im sitting for As? i promised myself that i will work harder next sem.

and looking at other ppl blogs, i just want to apply for NOC or SEP....i want to go over and study too!!! im not prepared to do that now..obviously..im not independent and will most prob die overseas or something..but i will try to attain this mini-goal by the end of 4 years:)

:) haiz im having a huge breakout.....:( too stressed le.

---

lonely

hmm i just dunnow why but feel a bit moody, gloomy today:( ...mild 'depression' ba..feeling a bit lost.and im having the -please Huiling..you know how it feels if you ever fall into that pit, coz you had fell into others before..so don't fall in- feeling..haiz figure out that you guys wont really understand what im saying la.

sometimes im happy just coz you brighten my day.i know tat im just pure silly.
hmm anyway, did nothing much. and as usual, im addicted to the com...and happily running my programs on drjava..did com again, instead of caculus.darn sad...that i didnt do calculus, yet happy that i did computing. crazy feeling...

hmm suddenly i feel that christmas is coming. as in...really coming. which is like a mth more?
hmm maybe it's the cold weather these days:)

hmm another day passed:) anyway, great day today!! i had not tried to do computing the entire day until today. totally brain dead now:) but im happy.hahas...not coz i did computing la.:) secret. anyway, met my com tutor in biz canteen today and me and my friend have dinner with him. he is darn funny la...talking about his uni life, about he not su-ing that killer jap class...darn funny and saying something abt being single so that you children won't have to suffer from the impact of the earth dying or something. anyway, it's just cool sitting with your tutor talking about other stuff than computing..talking about life, scary NUS pple, and even marriage...he was kinda not optimistic abt mariage...and asked how we know the one we meet eventually will be the One...and at that point of time, i just can't believe that what i told him was: that feeling comes from within and we will know it. and after you experienced it, you said exactly the opposite of what you are saying now..i think i told him this..hahas..oh well...anyway, my tutor is seriously darn funny...and we just talked abt random stuff like losing weight during exams? random.

and before that, we have com consulation with our lecturer.i think we made him brain-dead. we went thru like 4 exam papers? hahas..jia you jia you!!!mugging calculus tml!!yea!

its pretty weird...finally finish one computing paper.took like 5 hours, instead of the usual 2 hours? coz my mind is kinda thinking of other stuff, other pple, and random thgts...hahas so i decided to draw a little....and i ended up with a christmas tree. it just reminds me of the huge one that i draw this morning at the sky park of vivocity. simply soo greeen...hahas...i like green stuff..im a very nature person mah...

hmm im so going to sch tml...:) hang on tight!! hopes keeps me alive:)

hmm currently listening to jay chou's songs. just realised that im never sick of his songs. perhaps it's the xuan lu..hahas..hmm finally managed to push myself to do some computing today:)coz it's hard to do computing after maths...both topics are sort of similar in nature and they compete for space in my brain. hmm to my horror, i can do most of the computing paper test2, the test which i just passed only.*(okies i always just pass my computing like 15/30?)and i know why. it's not that i cant do it, it's coz of my insecurity and stress. did i tell u that everytime i sit for my computing test, there's always weird ppl that sat around me? they stressed me out. the previous time was a guy that kept raising his hands during the test to ask questions, and kept shaking his legs...and the previous previous time was a guy that kept coughing. ....it's not that im hyper sensitive or what..hmm...if that happen during the exams again, i swear that i will smack that person the min the exam ends. and i never make empty promises. an angry woman is a dangerous woman.

hahas..mugging today while there's renovation today...next door. crazy me le. :)
went to vivo for breakfast. and i simply love it...love standing on the rooftop looking at the wide sea...while the wind blows....simply feel great:) and today's weather is pretty good..cool:)

i think im going to mug in sch tml till late. enough of renovation le.

hmm second day. went for consulation:) hahas feeling much better le, after the prof cleared most of my doubts.:) hahaas...studying programming now. though i dun really do well in this subject, i liked it:) it's nice..and interesting thought it's a bit irritating, frustrating (to the extent that sometimes i want to pull my hair out..but...but...)i liked it. and as i always say, liking is a feeling that comes from within, it's unexplainable, it must be irrational *(talking abt irrational..i confuse with irrational and complex numbers and the prof 'scolded' me..hahas...he's darn funny. with his funny accent)*..hahas..irrational happy me. okies i declared that i have reached the highest level of stress le...when i reached the highest level, i get high and irrational.:)

when exams are over, im going to buy:
1) more clothes. enough of dresses. im getting jeans, jackets and bags.
2) a new haircut. though i just got one. Im thinking of dying my hair:)
3) a mp3 player:) seeriously in need of one....
4) many cds:)
5) .....*(to be filled in later:)

random thgts:
All the while we search for something that is not out there, but just in front of us.
Right in front of us, yet we fail to notice it.

hmm i saw the picture of seoul today....so beautiful:)
hmm next time if i ever get to move overseas, i will stay in the wild.hmm wait a minute, wild...as in.....rural areas...i hate overpopulated areas. i like those houses that are spaced out, not too cramped together.:)i want to live by a lake!!*But judging the rate at which the lakes, seas around the world are drying out..hmm...i want to live in Venice. think it's pretty cool to hang out in that city:)

suddenly i want christmas to come.:)i want to go on a holiday like now!!! but it will only happen after the exams..then i will go to Disneyland and shop till i drop in Hongkong..hmm im going to buy till i spent every single cent!! hmm...

and just realised that im binging again. oh no...:(it's not like im getting fat...but im just eating to release stress.....like eating every other hour?like breakfast, then lunch then teabreak...........and so on?? binging is bad bad...waste of food *(considering the fact that i don't really absorb much of it...coz i eat too quickly and too much??)

hmm...got to go le....

tonnes of stuff, limited time. mugging time.:(
hmm i realised that i cant live without the internet...without my lappy too.:( haiz...
linear alegbra, guassian elimination,subspaces, linear spans, transformations...makes me sigh. haiz. haiz haiz HAIX!!!

hmm...i think i need to ELMINATE every random thought in my head about going shopping...or even try to reach out for my com or the tv. and i need to SPAN my head with lots of information..TRANSFORM myself into a superwoman, remembering weird theories..and turning myself into a SUBSPACE...self-sufficient. :(

:(

hmm last day of sch le:) skipped a couple of lectures...just wanted to stop for a while, rest for a while:) haix..got so much to say but i dun really noe where to start from. yest was truly a day of full events, not just full of lectures...7 hours of lecture straight with 1 h break in between. last lectures and so on. hmm...and someone told me: endings exist so that beginning will come. when i heard it, im like huh? but i sort of understand what the person meant:) anyway, i love fridays:)

blogger always eat up my post! tried to post two posts yesterday but got eaten up:( it's not the poor internet connection and it's not my com, so it must be blogger.hahas..anyway, yesterday was a weird day...:)no wednesday is completed without going for com consulation or trying to rush out coursemarker..or even do computing. hahas...crazy me. anyway, im forever blur..took me like just yesterday to figure out that i actually dont have any more chinese lessons to go for..so instead i just sat in sci canteen and started binging....and the next tables people were like looking at me, coz after i ate one plate, i go get one more plate. and i kept going till im full.which is like after a few plates:P...then i went to practise for matlab coz i heard that the quiz is going to be darn difficult and from those that have taken the quiz, they said that practise is needed and time management is needed too*(which is the both i lacked)* so i practised from 2-4...then i sat for the quiz, which is to my disappointment. coz it's bascially a copy of the notes given except for a change in a few numbers here and there. the method to solve the questions using matlab was exactly the same...even the question is the same..you can tell when you read through the notes questions many times, n noticed that they just change one number. one number. and so i only took half the time given to finish the quiz, before checking.so in short, i did the quiz twice. hahas...crazy le..

and i watched titanic...that long movie. though i watched it many times, i just couldn't stop crying everytime i watched it. oh well...

today's the last thurs of the academic week. darn sad. everyone's leaving..or rather disappearing!!! but i believe that it's a new beginning.

:)

Ever thought what you are doing now is indeed what you wanted to do?
hmm today is thinking day..at least for me. thought abt many things...way too many things. academic stuff, my life, and mostly my identity. who i am....hmm im a thinker lah, so thinking deeply is sometimes good, coz it gives me a chance to sort out stuff, ,my thinking, getting things organised.

who i am. good question. im still searching for the answer. but now i know what i want. at times i thought that what i wanted, wasn't really i wanted. (sounds a bit confusing? hahas) hahas but now i strongly know what i want. I'm taking charge of it. :) and knowing what i want gives me strength. coz when you have a dream or a goal , it gives you strength when you feel that you don't have the energy to go on further(when work starts to pile on). and it gives you direction when you are feeling lost. it just gives you motivation to go on. :)

I believe that as long as i don't give up, i will achieve what i want.
I believe that when i attempt the difficult, i will attain the impossible.:) stretching beyond your limits:)
And I believe in God.
My fav verse:

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, t
hey will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Now, i see my goal more clearly than ever. I have a dream.

strangely i dreamt that i was in a garden full of allium!

hmm blogging time. blogging= destressing time. thinking of rambling abt things a bit in here, before going off to do my chinese stuff...me and chinese and tonnes of chinese sentences and dictionary:( haix life is like this. whether we like it a lot, no matter what happens, life goes on, everyone goes on. so what if you are sad and emo? *(i admit that im sad and emo for a long time within..it's just that it deeply buried within....anyway enough of unhappy stuff:) got quite a few hints from god..I was like praying for him to help me...and i came across this article(which is quite rare, coz i hate reading...reading textbks....newspapers...everything...even question papers..hahas...) and it says: Event + Response = Outcome.

Hmm sounds true....:) and im recently addicted to too many stuff le...and one of my most favourite song is Brave by Idina Menzel....I like the lyrics..they meant a lot:)

After the test and makeup lecture today, i went home and sketch and draw a little...hmm too lazy to bring out all the painting stuff or oil pastels..so i simply used color pencils...and the pictures looked a bit kiddy though... and i made another copy for my friend as an encouragment. to her...*(pls: cheer up k?:)

hahas

後視鏡裏的世界 越來越遠的道別
你轉身向背 側臉還是很美
l我用眼光去追 竟聽見你的淚
在車窗外面排徊 是我錯失的機會
你站的方位 跟我中間隔著淚
街景一直在後退 你的崩潰在窗外零碎

我一路向北 離開有你的季節
你說你好累 已無法再愛上誰
風在山路吹 過往的畫面全都是我不對
細數慚愧 我傷你幾回

我一路向北 離開有你的季節
方向盤周圍 回轉著我的後悔
我加速超越 卻甩不掉緊緊跟隨的傷悲
細數慚愧 我傷你幾回
停止狼狽 就讓錯純粹

hahas im simply in love with this song. :) computing is bad...bad for the eyes, the brain:( but i still have to study it.:( haiz...

so many things to blog abt...so many things not going smooth(anyway in life, what goes on smoothly)...:)

let me know the other side of u:)

:D

hmm i think i secretly loved operas....and all those things that maybe those of a much older older age than me would love. hahas....i like listening to this guy: Andrea Bocelli. He's damm good, his voice is darn nice.....and he hits all the darn darn high notes that i cant reach(okies...i cant sing to begin with) And one of my fav is: Amapola...this song is soo nice:)

secrets:)

hmm im addicted to gong s. hmm it's just a silly show..but i liked it.hahas...same for gong. realised that im always a bit laggy*(most prob coz im always too lazy to buy the vcd..might as well watch on tv right?)* hahas....this show is darn funny la and it never fails to cheer me up:) hmm lots of things to do..:(PE coming up and i have got a presentation on fri!! it's on electromagnetic cloaking..and i know nothing about it.:(i realy wanted to cry,but couldn't.Once i started crying, i can't stop.Electromagnetic cloaking..and a thin physics book(for grads..)that im supposed to read, tonnes of unknown weird eqns,..hmm sounds horrible. so i spent the whole of fri night reading my maths. feel much better:) i just love it when im doing something i love:) and realised that the more i read maths, the more i realised what i knew before is incomplete..:)hahas...what's infinity and power of zero to zero? or even infinity to power of infinity?hmm...

life is just like a rollercoaster ride....

random thgts

hmm emo me..hahas..just dunno why but sometimes im just emo, maybe it's all the time around this period of time. just watched a show, and nearly burst into tears..(*im a very sensitive person within....hmm..)as i saw the guy and his3 kids trying to get together once again after his wife died from blood cancer. it's pretty touching...at least to me...seeing how the guy trying to cope with the loss of his wife, and having to take care of his 3 kids..being jobless and the entire neighbourhood chipping in...helping him to raise funds....and the abc crew building a new hse for him.

hmm all in all, i finally realised something. God is always here and he cares. He never leaves us. :)

in the very end.

chill..chill...hmm...got soo much things to rush out, and im getting a bit panicky coz im not panicky. the prob is that i haven been listening to the chinese lec, and went to the chinese tut without knowing what's happening..and now within 2 days...or rather it's one..i have to come out with something...and to make things worse..it stands abt 15% of my final grade? hmm sounds a bit scary. but i think i gained something.

during these past few days, im been questioning myself again what i really want...and i even dreamt about myself thinking..freaky...but i somehow got the answer. The passion is within...it's hidden, waiting to be released...just like a gem hidden beneath the surface of the soil....and im sort of feeling it:) hahas...dunno...la..

went for retail therapy on sat..shopped and bought tonnes of stuff...just ask my friends..hahas...
and to be truthful, for the very first time, i could finally laugh, or even smile, without forcing myself. to be even more truthful, i haven been happy ever since school starts, let alone smiling...hmm i seriously think that im like wearing a thick thick mask to sch...what pple see me as, may not be the real me.

do you know the real me?

sometimes when it's quiet, so quiet that you can hear the clock ticking, and darkness surrounds, those thoughts would just flood my mind once again, and again it just ached badly..okies im not making sense....its just that aching feeling and what-if-i-did-that-instead or the-if-only-i-could-turn-back-time....the ache just goes on...and the world just goes on...and our life just goes on, as though nothing has happened. that's life...it goes on and on...

just remembered that my friend once told me that change is the only thing constant...and i thgt its like crappy..duh...but i really understand it fully.

i shall just go back to my painting...and just realised that one can never listen to emo songs when you are emo..emo songs makes you more emo:(

------
heard someone talking about birth and death this morning..quite true (in fact i think i hear it before leh)...
which is when one comes to the world, he is crying while the rest are smiling. and when one leaves the world,he is smiling while the rest are crying. hmm....i strongly believe that the end is only a beginning. it's one big circle. okies...enough of crapping le...back to my assignment...tata.
----

everything in my life is getting kinda screwy. maybe not just a bit, but a lot. suddenly, i just lost pace, slipping down, just like falling down a spiral staircase, where you never stop till you reach the bottom. hmm..currently i think i haven reach the bottom, prob need more help from friends. but sometimes it doesnt help coz they are in diff situation as me, n most prob they never know what is happening, or never experience what im feeling. seriouslu, i have this feeling before, which is a bit better, when i was preparing for my A levels. but now every single thing is in such a mess that i really dunno where to start from...where to start solving the prob. darn emo.:(

somehow i seemed to lose that passion within me, and i need it back. somehow i sorta regretted everything and question myself whether what i have chose is what i reallly really want, deep down in my heart. I questioned myself many times and i haven got a reply. maybe one day i will have the answers.

Having a goal in life or something that you strongly believe in or what, keeps you there, even when the going gets tough. I have a vague idea of what I want and yet i dunno what i have. sounds confusing? hahas.

no matter what happens now, i just gotta hang on:)

yay! finally managed to shift my blog back to the same place:) hahas..I'm kinda computer dummy, taking super long to figure out where is that setting thingy...



hmm did many things the last week...here's a little recap...

mon- NUS, great world city + hair cut

tue- far east

wed- bugis + vivo

thurs- bugis

fri- vivo ( river island shopping:) spend all my money there and ended up very poor when im shoping with xy in far east:(

sat- rest a little, loyang temple trip:)

sun- tanjong pagar, loyang temple, raffles city and vivo city to celebrate dad's bday.

mon *(today) - jalan bukit merah, tanjong pagar, clinic, loyang temple, bedok, then finally OG albert (ard Bugis there... )



I'm tired. :) here a photo of me and xiao yuan. *(oh gosh, my hair just look weird )
And i think vivo is becoming my second home....river island: )
And i love this month's issue of simply her magazine...i just love the stories of those brave women with their inspiring stories:)

just realised how Bujis actually is...super freaking..especially when you get lost and there's super loud music blasting into your ears..:(. went there yesterday to get my shoes and clothes,n ended up buying lots of earrings. I shld just go get a earring rack 2 keep my earrings. anyway, i finally receive the letter from nus le..had been panicking big big big time after seeing everyone got at least a letter from other uni....finally received mine..im going to study in fos...study maths....hmm nice food there:D

n indecisive me is still thinking when i shld quit...super tempting to quit early, but i will be broke at the rate im spending $....haiz...i want to go on a holiday still....:(waiting......

and i think that the cake my boss bought for me from fullerton is giving me a huge sore throat...considering the fact that it is nothing but full of chocolate..thick bitter chocolate..my favourite!!:)

hmm reading up on Venice is simply tempting..I just want to go there! I want to walk along the quiet streets there, getting lost in that mysterious city, learning the culture & enjoying the festivals there, looking at those interesting buildings, going for the ghost walks & hearing scary ghost stories of the city, eating lots of fish (as the city is surrounded by water..), and not forgetting the Venice gelato ice cream..and most importantly, seeing the sunset there..heard that Venice's sunset is beautiful....:) aww......i just want to fly there now..

and actually happiness has always been around. it's just that we didnt notice it. hmm anyway, I just realized that there's a Palm Beach restaurant at One Fullerton (near the Merlion)..went there yesterday to deliver flowers to someone.....super cool...to be eating inside and see the river (or sea..) and the Merlion...but one thing bad about it is that: There's LOTS of tourists there, making soo much noise. You cant really eat in peace. :( but one of these days, Im gonna go there and eat...try out the food and to find new eating places, other than my favourite place Jumbo.

when it's time to let go, just let go. And I have decided. Im going to quit my job and im going to go for an overseas trip. currently thinking of where to go..and the quitting of my job is set, after thinking about it for 2 months. Finally decided and knew that this decision is not made in a moment of impulse but due to a long period of thinking. Im gonna try something new!! talked to my mum and she said that maybe dad can sponsor me the trip.....yeah!! now, I just need to make sure that I dont spend all the money i earned away..hahas..kinda out of budget le....anyway, went to Bujis for a quick shopping trip..and realised that I really need a box with MANY compartments..coz my earring container is simply bursting le..too many pairs of earrings in it le...and I still want to buy more..so I need one with many divisions with clear glass so that I can see them clearly without taking them out...hmm..I saw this type of container somewhere but just cant remember where...haiz...needa recall...

and I just saw FOX clothes...collection...Im kinda slow...hmm...pretty clothes....:)I want pretty clothes....yeah...Im feeling the urge to buy that green tube top and vintage skirt..hahas...shopping spree starts now! :)

a very tiring day today>.<>

tution classes make me high yet tired. so does shopping trips. haiz, didnt managed to find my poster today..must try again another day..and did manicure today..and realized that Im super rough....the manicured nails didnt manage to stay nice for long..i ruined them at about 10 steps after I walked out of the shop...but cant be bothered to go back to redo them...I need to rush home at that time..so they stayed in this manner..

hahas..sweet peggy told me what to eat for my bday le..instead of crabs, the clever girl is trying to seduce my tastebuds with billy bombers (is that how it is spelt?)..hmmm...we gonna have that for lunch, dinner and maybe supper...billy bombers day? but it's not confirmed yet....coz she is busy:(

hmmm.....mango tango cocktail:) and for the rest of this week, I have been thinking of going on a holiday with a small group of people...like going to a country with just some of us will be pretty exciting...and guess what? I want to go taiwan...I want to go there and shop till I drop...currently planning for a 7days trip...hmm firstly, it was peggy who told me about the various attractions of the country..esp the main attraction (hahas peggy, I know what you are thinking of...)....

anyway, I will be trying darn hard to start saving now..though it's hard with all the shopping trips, manicure & pedicure trips, the tonns of magazines I want to buy...........:)

bought a yellow shirt :) hahas buying posters tml.....very tired le....dying le....

this week seem to be passing way too quickly...and the worst thing is: how come every week seem to be the same? rawr....I want more exciting things in my way..

mon was a pretty cool day. as usual, I exercised my arm muscles and carried a LOT of stuff, heavy artifical flowers arrangement in heavy glass vases..and I realised that Im strong enough to manage 2 glass vases at one go le..and my bigger right arm is just the evidence to prove it. stronger me!!

tue was mummy's bday...tried to ask her to go eat bentobox but she simply refused..in the end, we ended up in vivo, eating sliced fish soup..-.-..haiz...and not forgetting all the shopping for clothes and weirdly, shampoo!! pretty cool, managed to buy a lot of things, and carried them back home...went to chinatown as well...twice!! shopping and to eat dinner!

wed was..*yawn*..simply cant imagine that I actually went to walk around and ended up near the area around esplanade....which was darn far, considering the fact that I worked in Raffles Mrt Station.....but the scenery is nice:)

and today (thur) was ok ba..went for the stupid ntu interview and i waited very very very long..nearly died out of boredom there, but it's pretty fun, trying to ask people weird questions...and those people that interviewed me must be thinking that im mad or something...coz whenever they ask me a question, I had to ask them to repeat (coz they are too soft........) and Im forever spacing out, and taking a moment to think, before talking, then repeating and emphasizing certain parts of me 'speech'...but overall, i think can ba. anyway, do i look like i wanna do business? I just want to get into the faculty of science(nus)...business is mainly a plan B..hahas...

hoping for better day ahead..looking forward to sat...coz I have tution class..

I so badly want to go to the restaurants near the river thingy...those restaurants near the merlion there? the scenery is soo beautiful....:)but the food there dont really look good.....haiz....and I found out that im secretly in love with red and yellow color stuff....crazy me...

I want summer to last forever:) pretty cheery colors throughout the year:) oh well, weird random thinking.

I think that it's really pretty cool to have family outings..made a little short trip to sentosa with mummy,daddy and sis. looking at them eagerly packing their bags with tons of things like young kids sometimes just make me smile..hahas..left house pretty early today, and daddy drove us to vivo before hopping onto the monorail train to sentosa..I simply love the monorail train in the morning...quiet without any noisy kids and beachgoers...and the scenery is beautiful..:) walked a little, went to the palawan beach and everyone is kinda seasick with the shaky bridge...(or is it just me?)...it's just fun to have the entire family climbing up all the way just to take a look at the scenery up there...pretty windy:) after that, treated family to lunch coz it's mum's bday celebrations.....then managed to drag everyone to the area around merlion..called the magical trail or something...basically it's just the area behind the merlion, with all the strange structures and water jumping from one end to the other...:)hahas..and of course, daddy never fail to be like a kid, trying to catch the flying water droplets...from the structures...hahas..

hmm the inner me is dying to go to the Songs Of The Sea...located near the beach station of sentosa...haiz but it's only at 7.40 or 8.40pm..only at night..but also quite true..the show is partly made of lightings..or it will most probably be nice only in the dark...(which is at night)..

after that, we walked around before going back home..:)
and how come happy moments seem to be short-lived? haiz..the weekends forever take a long long time to come, yet they dont really last long..:(...

I want to go on a long long long vacation..like to Venice..i wanna see the beautiful unique buildings there...:) I want nice scenery..I want the sun too!

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random thoughts in my mind now:
and you know what? I secretly want to learn how to play a piano...I actually dreamt of playing a piece using the grand piano. Hmm but in reality, I would rather hear someone playing piano for me, than for me to learn how to play one.

And, my rebonded hair just refuses to stay rebonded anymore. Instead, it is becoming like me original hair, way before I did anything to it..(which is how it looks in 2002??)..it is becoming straight on the top, yet havng this natural curl at the bottom...and it's turning color before I could color it...it's now the ideal color that i want it to be..:)strange at how things simply worked out for me...managed to save on the money for dying hair..hahas:)

hmm so many wants but currently having limited resources...wants like a new pair of shoes(though i just bought a painful pair of shoes), a pretty cool wardrobe of clothes that are warm color themed, that dirty green fox jacket which I had been eying for a long time but just dont have the time to go get it...a small black clutchbag with many compartments....and I want to sit near to a river all day long.....(simply dont have the time though my workplace is kinda nearby the Singapore river)...oh gosh, I just have so many desires...:( and the main thing is : I want more time!!:(

and sometimes no one knows me as well as you do. :) thanks for always been here for me, whenever i need someone to talk to. I know that you are just the one that I can always rely for help. 24, 7.:)

why must it always rain?:( haiz...yet I love it when it rain. To be exact, i love the smell of rain, but I hate the actual raining process..wet and sticky.*shivers* hmm..it rained again today, just when I was planning to walk along the Singapore river, near UOB plaza, the open area..nvm, I shall go there again tml.:)

hahas..everyone is in the shop is getting ready for tml- friday the 13th:) coz there are simply lots of orders to rush and it's supposed to be the 'unlucky' day for us..hahas we are gonna to be super careful tml.:) sometimes Im just glad for just slacking around..rarely got a day to slack..and today, I got a call from NTU...:(got to go down to NTU for interview next week!:(haiz....

I just wanna go to Maldives!! (is that how you spell it?)...I also wanna go to Venice and view all the old buildings there..super pretty and the main mode of transport there is simply by boat...I simply wanna go there before it gets flooded and 'drowned' ten years down the road...

hmm and after working with flowers for only about 3 mths, I guess that Im kinda sick of roses :( they are sooo common!! purple hydrangeas are pretty and orange tulips are nice too!!:) I simply love these hydrangeas packed together with exotic wild flowers..giving the super wild feeling:)

currently obsessed with _____:)hahas:)

hmm went with sis to marina square on the sat too...i simply love shopping trips with sis. Though it's kinda weird for the both of us to shop together, it gives me a very peaceful feeling..a feeling that you can just drop all pretense and be yourself for the day:) hahas..being crazy and playing around with things...sometimes being your true self, letting your blur nature out is great..hahas..no worries about making any mistakes when im out shopping.

next week is mum's bday..and we have decided to go to Sentosa. guess that it's time for me to TRY to tan myself *(planning to get myself in a darker shade..?)..hahas..just cant wait for that day to come...how i wish that time just fly now!

hmm realised that I didnt blog for a super long time..guessed that it's really time for me to sit down and think through what exactly happened over these 3 months (feb, march as well as april)...hmm lots of things just kinda popped out from no where.....simply too much for me to state down ba..

sometimes i just like to think 'what if I didnt work in the florist? will I be happier?'. it is like work at the florist sometimes is simply too many, too chaotic and sometimes I just got blamed for nothing. one good example will be about last week ba...during lunch hour (where the shop is always kinda crowded because everyone just swarm in and happily tell you that they want flowers NOW)...this lady came in and asked for a wreath...so I served her and offered her someadvice as well as prices..and then she simply gave me that face that Im just lying to her about the prices and asked me if I could be more honest with the prices. wtf her, and later on, she even complained to my boss, great her. she is simply soo...i dunno what to describe her. at that point of time, I simply just wanna send the wreath that she ordered for her. unreasonable her + an emotional irritated me= planning to get knives....which are used for dethorning the roses....but managed to calm down in the end. went out with wy last sat...:)super nice of her to accompany the half-dead me.

soo many things to do this weeek!!!! my bosses went on a holiday and im super stressed because soo many things went wrong..the minute she stepped out of the shop, the printer just ran out of ink. *(and before that, she was planning to change the ink for me...but in the end, she decided not to..) then it's the credit card machine..haiz..soo many times....though this job kinda look like a slacker job, trust me, it isnt. im dying from stress. just look at me, and my face. breakout+ fat me (with all the extra eating)...hmm i seriously need a break...haiz...

and I finally went to rebond my hair le. It isn't really straight as in straight straight but i kinda like it...:)went to kimage to rebond...then bought shoes....then went novena square & square 2...then went to claire's hse...then went for dinner....hmmm...

another week of work is gone! and i got my very first pay! though it wasnt that much, but Im happy because it's what i received for all my hard work...:) took mummy to shop at vivo...before going back to work yest. yest was a super hectic day where everyone is kinda multi-tasking, but I can only mono-task, if not i will make more mistakes...but still made lots of silly mistakes, like mistaking oranges for manadarin oranges (but they are still oranges right?), writing addresses in the wrong book ( which is actually for valentine's day one)...haiz..but working there is fun and the people there are nice *(even though i really made a lot LOT LOT of silly stupid mistakes..) buying green bean soup for everyone..and nice customers who brought us delicious chocolate cakes:)

and i realised my motivation for finishing everyday's work is actually the channelu 10 pm show...(and i kinda know the ending because cheryl told me a bit)....weird me.

and and and i have been dreaming every night for 1 week le..weird random dreams of things and people whom i meet in the day....just weird..

long time since i blogged le..finally got a job le..actually i got 2 job offers on the same day- the admin assistant (for 6 mths) and the florist (for 1 mth). and guess what? I took up the florist's job offer.

it seems crazy, but that's the decision i made after thinking and talking to God for an hour. :) and now im glad for taking this job instead. coz the work at the shop is simply fun...like getting to see the lady boss complaining *(speaking in the mixture of Hokkien, Cantonese, English , Chinese)* after serving a difficult customer...getting to see pretty flowers every day and cutting them, learning how to make a hand bouquet and congralutatory stands, playing with the cashier *(and then it suddenly start to give a sharp sound..oops...)..as well as going around and making delivery...getting lost...chit-chatting with my bosses and workers and they even figured out that all of them could be my mums..so i kinda have an extended and new family tree at work..and munching on sweets during work..and trying to think of new dishes to cook with the flower petals...hahas...every day is a different day...different people come in and want different hand bouquets...different places to deliver each day...learning different things each day...simply awesome..and i figured out that God's plan for me is simply great...and though this duration of this job may seem short, it's definitely the experience that im looking for. I want an exciting job, which I can look forward to each day ( at least for 1 mth) . And i got it.:)

hmm besides lottas stuff at work, many things also happened at home...hmm..weekends are here and let enjoy it! Im going out with good old peggy later..massive shopping for chinese new yr!!!

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fly a kite, let it fly

brand new yr:)

hmm first post of the year!!
new year eve was awesome and new year was even greater!! :) great start..start of a brand new year!!
the countdown thingy was super scary..soooooo many pple..filling up nearly every space that you see...and for once, I realised the advantage of being tall..i wanna be tall!! *frowns*....hahas new year dinner was funny because of many things..hahas..at first, we were kinda disappointed when dad was busy and decided not to bring us for new year dinner..and all of us acted super sad and my mum nagged...coz he always bring us out for dinner *(like my fav seafood) every year..so in the end, despite his huge pile of work, we managed to go for dinner..ate at swensen's...though the dinner wasnt that great..(but i still love love ice-cream), the 'gathering-together' atmosphere was just nice....hmm and after that, my flu came back and i spent yesterday sniffing away...as well as going all the way to jp with mum and sis for lunch and to buy lottas stuff back home...:)

and I had a breakout..:( then the late-night phone call made it worse, i think. But talking to cheryl (my tai ma ma) was super funny...talked about the most random stuffs..going super high...and being super honest...:)hahas...

fly me to the moon.......:)..oh well, just being random again.