chill..chill...hmm...got soo much things to rush out, and im getting a bit panicky coz im not panicky. the prob is that i haven been listening to the chinese lec, and went to the chinese tut without knowing what's happening..and now within 2 days...or rather it's one..i have to come out with something...and to make things worse..it stands abt 15% of my final grade? hmm sounds a bit scary. but i think i gained something.
during these past few days, im been questioning myself again what i really want...and i even dreamt about myself thinking..freaky...but i somehow got the answer. The passion is within...it's hidden, waiting to be released...just like a gem hidden beneath the surface of the soil....and im sort of feeling it:) hahas...dunno...la..
went for retail therapy on sat..shopped and bought tonnes of stuff...just ask my friends..hahas...
and to be truthful, for the very first time, i could finally laugh, or even smile, without forcing myself. to be even more truthful, i haven been happy ever since school starts, let alone smiling...hmm i seriously think that im like wearing a thick thick mask to sch...what pple see me as, may not be the real me.
do you know the real me?
sometimes when it's quiet, so quiet that you can hear the clock ticking, and darkness surrounds, those thoughts would just flood my mind once again, and again it just ached badly..okies im not making sense....its just that aching feeling and what-if-i-did-that-instead or the-if-only-i-could-turn-back-time....the ache just goes on...and the world just goes on...and our life just goes on, as though nothing has happened. that's life...it goes on and on...
just remembered that my friend once told me that change is the only thing constant...and i thgt its like crappy..duh...but i really understand it fully.
i shall just go back to my painting...and just realised that one can never listen to emo songs when you are emo..emo songs makes you more emo:(
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heard someone talking about birth and death this morning..quite true (in fact i think i hear it before leh)...
which is when one comes to the world, he is crying while the rest are smiling. and when one leaves the world,he is smiling while the rest are crying. hmm....i strongly believe that the end is only a beginning. it's one big circle. okies...enough of crapping le...back to my assignment...tata.
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007
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