im feeling very terrible now....i felt as though someone has just ripped my heart into pieces before feeding them to the dogs....

im feeling very terrible and tired now....it's like...im tired of acting happy when im not...(coz if im not happy, then who is left to cheer the rest up?)...im tired of acting blur and stupid when im not...in fact i know a lot of things....im tired....im tired...of pretending that im happy when...im like bleeding inside.....

bleeding so badly....

suddenly i realised that no one understand me...not even myself...it's like...no one cares about how i feel....no one understands how terrible im feeling...suffering from pain that can only be felt by me....

im tired of acting happy when im not.

im tired of pretending not to like tthat person...tired to trying to convince myself that i don't like him...when i actually do.

im tired of keeping everything to myself...

i want to tell someone...but who can i tell? over the past few days..i tried calling my friends to talk to them..on the pretext that im bored..but...they were all not free....so...who can i confide in?

the feeling is terrible...and my depression mood is back in full swing.

i actually went to find a pen knife....to see how sharp it will be to cut my wrist...

im tired.i know that i should be strong...and not have these follish thoughts.

but i just want to be that me.

that me, who is not strong...who can express her feelings freely...