strong winds..heavy rains..in the past, i used to run towards a shelter immediately whenever there's rain..but today..i just continued walking in the rain, without a shelter...as though one without a soul...as though one who no longer feel his heartbeat....

although i laughed a lot today due to many silly things that had happened...all these happiness obtained are superfical..as what abraham says...shallow....just like the wind, which brings temporary coolness but no permanent one....

Today, in the morning, i stared hard at the mirror....then i realised...

that i'm no longer the same anymore.
that usual shine on my face is gone.
that bright spark in my eyes was gone.
that bright smile was gone.

what are left are....
sunken eyeballs..that are dull...
only reddish swollen eyes remained...

it's pretty sad to realise that.....and i just cant help wallowing in self pity and depression.

it's hard not to.

I'm so depressed that I even thgt of the way I'm going to die..and on which day..which date...ard wad time....

Very unstable....

my heart is like no longer beating..haiz..hate this feeling...if wanna die, why cant die faster...