hmm...so frustrated doing bio that i decided to pop by everyone's blog to take a look...on the average, everyone's blog is dying..coz of the terms....claire and moomoo's are updated on a regular basis...

hm..still feeling a bit sore over what my daad just said..."What are you doing everyday...sleeping so late..and..." This goes on for a few minutes..before he realised that im not responding to him..then he left.

Then it is my mum- the only person on earth that made me hate yet love her. Now is her turn to nag at her...no no no..rather scold me. Scolding me on staying up so late...blah blah blah...actually..i didn;t. i just took a nap in the afternoon..coz im tired from studying...and in faact she encouraged me to take a nap..and now...due to the nap taken, im awake...cannot sleep....and here she is...asking me why i took a nap...totally contradicting with what she says.

To BE EXACT, im suffering from symptoms of depression. This morning..im not...only until i touched bio..and together with the scolding and nagging from parents...

It's pretty difficult...trying to keep yourself happy..in fact it's tiring.

try to be me.

Try studying in a room...where everyone outside your room is talking loudly, turning on the tv at the loudest volume..screaming and shouting away...my mum scolding my sis..and my sis defending herself...cannnot be bothered to go outside and dilute the tension...

Try coping with a mum with depression. You may feel sorry for her...and try to cheer her up by doing small things...but her acts sometimes just put me off...scolding me for no reasons....questions like..." Why must you study so hard?...later you go crazy..." ..." I bet you won't pass the exams..the way you study things...."...she is like constantly pouring buckets..and buckets of cold water on me....mothers are supposed to encourage and not discourage...

in fact im a hot tempered person..it's already very difficult trying to put up with her for a long time already....

Try coping with undone work...stress...blackouts...depressed mother...noisy sister...threatening dad....

Just imagine. Im tired.

In fact...my mum is the ultimate factor.

Depression is now...her only redemption.

How can a mother be like this?

No one is perfect after all...including mothers..i guess..

today..i went out with her and sis to eat...and then it's the same prob again...she is like...deciding on everything herself....and then asked for our opinions....( which is not needed)...and if we don't think in the same way as her...she forces us to.

I hate this type of life. How i wish that i can kill her. if I have the courage and heart.

That's why i hate and love her.