yeah!! today cheryl came back to ac again....so happy..yet so sad after I was once again reminded of those fond memories that we had during the first three months of our JC life...I thought that I had already recovered from the extreme sadness...however I was wrong..very wrong. I never really recovered to begin with...I was just putting up a strong front...trying to numb myself..or sheer myself up from all those fun gossisp talk with my classmates...I thought that I could escape from reality - the reality that good things never last..

However, today with the appearance of cheryl, i was brought back to reality instantly. Good things do come to an end. Even the bestest best friends have to part in the end. Me and cheryl is a typical example...I hugged her the very moment I saw her...I wanted to cry..yet I forced those tears down..and started joking with her...I tried to be happy because I knew that if I started to be sad and cry, she might just cry as well..and that will make her sad. A person sad is better that two people getting sad.

Although I hated crying....i just wanted to cry today...but then I realised that I have already no more tears......

Although I acted happy, I was sad. The pain is not physical pain, but it's pain that just enter your heart and start uprooting everything you have in there. It's like ripping your heart apart, then leaving it alone for all the blood to drip....

Suddenly, I realised that I'm actually weak inside.

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I'm thinking of him every moment, yet I don't dare to tell him.
Perhaps actions speak louder than words. Or to say it plainly, I consider too many things and I don't have the courage to say it out.
My head told me to forget everything about him and move on, coz my aim is to achieve excellent grades,
However my heart told me to stay and hold on, because good things are worth waiting for.

My head told me that perhaps it's all my wishful thinking,
while my heart told me that perhaps...perhaps...it's not.

My head told me that I should be decisive and not wishy-washy about things,however
my heart told me that every action of mine could affect my relationship with him...

Everything seem to be clashing with one another...what should I do....